my search for verve.

2008-10-27T22:44:00.002+11:00

hello all. for those who haven't heard...i'm going home soon! my supervisor is too nice :) but yea, its suddenly the end of the year again..somehow the second half of the year always seems to fly by so much faster than the first half. i'm happy to be going home of course, but somehow i wish the circumstances under which i'm going home earlier were better..things are gonna be weird this time around. not really sure what to expect also :(

really getting quite sian of my project already..but on the bright side, its nearing the end! yay. i just feel like i have so many other better things to do with my time right now. but in a way, its quite a blessing in disguise that this had to happen during my research year..better now than any other time. i just feel...why is all this happening at the same time :( but if there's one thing i've learnt over the years..no use wallowing either. just have to make the best out of the situation..sometimes, i'm very glad i got the chance to come here and study cos i'm away from it all..its quite miserable having to deal with it all in person. its so much easier to deal with it when i'm away from it all. but that doesn't really solve the problem does it.

2008-09-19T17:33:00.002+10:00

killing time now before I have to go for practice with my sister..haha we decided to join this talent night showcase thing (something like RGS night) at her hall..quite SCARED cos i've never done anything like this before..well I do recall performing a percussion act with my section during RGS night back in sec 3 but that was in a big group..tmr night its just me and my sister! i'm on drums and singing while my sis is on piano and singing..i just hope hope we at least sound OK. hehe but its been fun doing this with her :)

haha my elder sister had a piano concert of her own back in singapore just recently tooo..hehe she was telling me how she was so relieved after her performance, she let out a scream once she got backstage, not realising that the door had not yet shut properly so the audience heard her loud and clear..hahah but i'm glad things went well for her :) really wish i could have been there to hear her play. heheh lucas didn't go for the concert cos it was way past his bedtime..but then when asked, he said his mummy "played a sad song by Chopin".

so where has my last month gone to....erm..the usual stuff i suppose..ILP, work, music...gah music is seriously starting to drive me crazy..what with the many many assignments and assessments..i'm already looking forward to summer break and HOME. hehe my ILP supervisor is really so nice..she says i can go back home earlier this year as long as i get the data collection part settled by then..i can write up the actual report back home..so if things go as planned..i can go home a few weeks earlier than expected:)

haiii. don't know why..but recently i've just been feeling rather caged in..like i want to do more with my life but don't know what. its probably the effects of ILP...one year of doing this rubbish has just made my mind wander...i want to travel! i want to bungee jump! i want to go skiing again! i want to go see the northern lights! been looking into possible elective destinations for final year also..its pretty exciting just thinking about the places we might be going to..yay can't wait. for both electives and final year. the end is near!

2008-08-15T18:52:00.004+10:00

haha wow has it been 2 weeks since my last post already? doesn't quite feel like 2 weeks..feels like just yesterday i set off that alarm..hahaha.

so its friday again (yay!)..things to do by next monday..my music review and the focus group draft for my supervisor..plus the weekly quiz i have for aural music class..haha i was so nervous yesterday during the aural test..the teacher made each of us sing individually in front of half the class..i was so nervous my voice was literally shaking. hahah my classmate was sweet and tried to calm me down..but i think i'm just not able to sing when i know everyone can hear me..haha the only place i can sing is in church i think..when everyone else is singing too and i feel like just belting out the lyrics :)

ooh yes and i managed to get away with buying just one textbook..haha olivera (isn't that a pretty name?) suggested sharing books and we'd each photocopy the pages we needed each week for one another..abit ma fan but i guess its worth saving over $100..especially since i just received the red light fine i've been dreading for the last 2 weeks..i guess some part of me was still hoping i'd gotten away with it..sigh lesson learnt. a very very EXPENSIVE lesson :( thats more than 15hours worth of pay gone down the drain...booooo...

celebrated quite a few birthdays (four in total?) last weekend..haha so many august babies..all conceived during christmas cheer i suppose..hahaha. oh well if you count national day back home thats five birthdays! happy birthday singapore :) yes really i do love singapore. for being efficient, for being familiar, for the feeling of security. and although there are things i do complain about and wish people would change, i really am happy to be a singaporean :)

ooh and i like this photo..we look happy!:) perhaps the effect of hot chocolate on a cold winter's night at lindt cafe... :)

2008-08-01T18:05:00.002+10:00

tired..just got back from work..i'm glad its the weekend!

had a good week..considering it was the first week of the uni semester..music classes this sem seem hard :( lots of aural and sight reading and i'm taking the classes with all these people who seem to know exactly what's going on all the time..but i think these arts people are pretty funky..they're really not afraid to dress the way they want to and they don't care what others think of them..

oh and i had to spend $120 on this one music theory book that we apparantly HAVE to buy..actually there are THREE books that we have to buy..but i figure i'll see how things go and see if i can survive with photocopying off tida's books..she was really sweet..offering to lend me her books whenever i needed them. but i guess that could get tricky sometime. i just don't understand why books are so expensive here. hahah my classmate was saying that its not so bad..they can still use the music theory books after this course..so its like buying the book for 3 years for him. but then i said i was just taking music for the next 6 months and he had nothing positive to say. aay i just hope i made the right choice by choosing this module again..

feel like taking a nap now..i think the lack of sleep has been affecting my brain..i've done a few silly things in the last few days..like the time i went to visit fen and mythili at IH..hahah i said bye to them at their rooms and assured them i'd have no problems finding my way to the main door..well i didn't..but when i got to the main door i somehow couldn't open the door..instead i very stupidly pushed open the door next to the main door with the huge painted sign saying "ONLY OPEN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" and then suddenly there were alarms ringing in the whole building..haai. and then the next day i told mythili what had happened and she showed me how to open the door - just by pressing down on the door handle? hahah i think i tried doing that that night but it just refused to open? i don't know..i honestly can't remember..hahah mythili laughed herself silly at me..

and then today i was gonna take out the trash..i tied up the 2 garbage bags in the kitchen and went out..walked to the garbage chute..and then when i tossed them into the bin i realised i only had ONE bag with me! the other had mysteriously disappeared along the way..haha i retraced my steps but couldn't see it along the way..didn't want to be late for work so i cut my investigation short..haha only when i got home i saw the one bag under the dining table..but i honestly have no memory of me leaving it there..what is happening to me man.

hai anyway...yay the weekend is here! :)

2008-07-23T22:25:00.004+10:00

sleeepy now..but its only 10am! cannot cannot..must stay awake..supposed to be working on analyzing the focus group information for my project now..rarrrr.

the week's just flying by!today's the end of wednesday already..the weekend's coming soon again! yay:) this week i've been mostly busy with work..oh and having to deal with matters of my car..the day before, i parked my car in the underground carpark at royal randwick..went up to coles for a short while..and when i returned to the car my car license plates were gone! :( at first i was like...why the plates?? i thought maybe they'd dropped off but its quite impossible for both the front and back plates to have disappeared simultaneously. then i got scared that someone would use my plates to go rob a bank or something..the police told me its apparently quite common here..for people to steal plates then use them for when they go to top up petrol..then they can just drive off without paying. sigh. the things people think up of.

so my plate-less car had to be stowed away for awhile..until i went to get new plates..haha on the bright side, at least they only took the plates and not my whole car..and my registration was due soon anyway so i did have to make a trip down to the motor registry anyway..hahah and as my sister told me..the thief will face his penance!! whoever the desperate person is.

hahah oh and at the motor registry this very desperate chinese-speaking lady enlisted my help in helping her translate to the person behind the counter..haha so i trust that God wanted me there at that time for that reason. even with my lousy chinese..i at least managed to tell her that she needed to purchase her car insurance first before she could register her vehicle. haha although it did take me awhile to recall what "insurance" is in chinese..

back to focus group analysis...focus focus...

2008-07-20T21:18:00.001+10:00

an eventful weekend! dim sum, italian, seafood, dessert, batman and WYD!

arrival of the WYD Cross and Icon at darling harbour!
(haha and i didn't actually get this close to it..i ripped this photo off a friend)

hoards and hoards of people!

haha and i thought this was pretty funny..a smart way not to lose sight of friends/family..

the pope in his popemobile!

i admit i wasn't that excited about wyd before i actually took part in the events..i suppose i could have participated in more if i had registered/volunteered for more activities..but i think i'm pretty happy with what i did take part in :) i think just being a small small part of an event that involved the entire catholic community worldwide was exhilarating..and it just shows the power He has to bring everyone together.

haha although most of my non-catholic friends only had complaints about the road closures and traffic jams due to WYD..i admit parking really was a pain..but i also thought it cool just seeing pilgrims flood the streets in their colourful outfits and high spirits..

so yes that was wyd. and such a tiny part of it..my sister must have alot more to tell..haha she even took part in the 8am bridge walk to randwick racecourse..thats about 10+km? good for u:) i only wish i had been able to get a better look at the stations of the cross..i only got close enough to see it all on the big screen at darling harbour..and what i did see on screen looked fantastic. they had actors to play jesus and the various characters from each of the 12 stations..

Stations of the Cross, Station 7 - Simon helps Jesus to carry his Cross, Darling Harbour.

the last supper in front st mary's.

Stations of the Cross, Jesus is crucified.

tired now. woke up this morning cos my stomach was feeling funny and was unable to get back to sleep..haha maybe too much good food this weekend. or too much shao rou fan! hahah yx da-boaed 1kg of shao rou and it took us 3 meals to finish all that shao rou. i'm quite happy to not have shao rou for awhile now. sigh. 1kg! you have no idea how much shao rou that is.

and go watch batman! it really is good. although abit long..i felt a little lightheaded coming out of the cinema..haha but thats just me. storyline was more packed and confusing than the first one but very fast-paced so it never seems boring. and i like all his cool little gadgets in this movie! but we have come to a conclusion..the first step to becoming a superhero is you have to be RICH. all that cool machinery doesn't come free.

oh yes and thanks ollie for the little surprise on my bed! i love it :) i'm sorry i wasn't here to see you off :( i'll catch up with u again at the end of the year ok.

2008-07-17T00:27:00.000+10:00

feeling very full now..from our dinner of shao rou fan!haha i recently discovered this place in maroubra selling duck and char siew and shao rou..never been too big a fan but i think this place is really GOOD. hahah and now my tummy's feeling all warm and i'm feeling rather sleepy.

been working quite abit this week..woke up this morning to the sound of my phone and my boss's voice..asking if i could come in today..haha i think he felt quite bad for waking me up cos he apologised several times throughout the day...but oh well. i'm happy to earn the extra money..especially since i think i got caught the other night running a red light :( boooo. i know i know its not anyone else's fault but mine. but to be fair, i was following my friend's car back home so i didn't want to lose track of him..and the stupid light just happened to change as he crossed the junction. and so i just pressed the accelerator on instinct and suddenly there was a collective "oh no!" from everyone else in my car as the flash of the camera went off. haha honestly, i didn't notice the flash but i think since 3 other people saw it i can safely assume i did get caught. haaai. and i know red light fines here are crazy - my friend told me she got fined at least $100+? haha so the next day at work, i was just thinking that my pay for that day would be going to that stupid fine.

i am enjoying work at least :) everyone's very nice and i at least feel like i'm doing my bit to contribute to society. the last few months have just been about ILP..and somehow its just felt pretty aimless and unmotivating. i love music..but thats just been a side thing i guess..i just don't see the point of dedicating one whole year to research work..not that research isn't important, its just i know i don't want to do this, so why does the faculty have to make us do this? plus i wasn't given much choice in my topic of interest..

anyway, have been seeing many many groups of pilgrims for WYD walking through the city..haha with their colourful flags and banners and clothes..today i walked past this group from spain; they were wearing their national flag as capes and yelling out some song (i assume in spanish)..hahah and curiously i've been approached quite a few times for directions..haha do i look like a local?

2008-06-29T01:53:00.001+10:00

today was good! had breakfast with the parents, lunch with yahui :) , shopping with jeh and church :) haha i've never actually been shopping in baby stores like today before..my sister was buying a baby shower present for her friend and was tossing random items into my arms..i felt quite conspicuous walking around holding baby bottles etc. but its so nice looking at all the baby products! haha not that i have any interest in becoming a mother anytime soon..but its just nice stuff to look at. toys, power strollers (i had no idea strollers cost so much!), cots, cribs, sheets, cute little shirts/dresses/socks. how come i didn't get all this nice stuff when i was a baby? :( hahah.

so yes today was a happy day. i was actually quite down the other day..attended a wake, so i was already not in high spirits to begin with..then my phone got stolen on the way to the wake :( i wasn't thinking too much about it during the memorial service, but then when i got home i was just sad about the day in general. to make matters worse, when i called to cancel my SIM card, i learned that the evil evil person who'd snatched my hp had made a few overseas calls already, which i now have to pay for. aargh. well lesson learnt. since that day, i've been clutching my bag tightly to my chest everywhere i go...just be careful people! especially on crowded mrts.

about the wake. its heartening to see how strong people can be during these times. i wonder if i would have dealt with the same situation with the same resolve. after i got home, i felt like just running to my mum and giving her a hug. anyway, i've gotten a new sim card (with the same number) ! spent quite abit of money this time back home..new camera, new phone! and air tickets have gone way up too :( darn rising fuel prices.

2008-06-23T00:27:00.000+10:00

home again! :)

the house feels alot quieter this holidays..what with my sister still in sydney..and the parents having their own happening social lives..leaving poor me alone at home now. hahah then again i guess i've been mostly out since coming back..my mum was chiding me for my eyebags yesterday..ironically i've been getting less sleep since coming home..haha thanks to mahjong, sleepovers at my sister's and late dinners..

oh yes..i got a new camera! sadly my old one cost a ridiculous amount of money to fix so i decided it'd be more worth it to just get a new one. but i shan't complain, since i'm really happy with my new camera! it cost $$$..but hahah as pips told me, we shouldn't scrimp on some things..hehe and i did get a good price on it i think..great singapore sale!:)

i like this photo! we look like we're in some sort of jungle don't we :)

cindy's on a plane to london as i type this.. :( but i did get to spend one fun week with her :) take care you! and have loads of fun in europe k. will miss you.

haha lucas saw my nice shiny new camera and demanded that i take portraits of each and every one of his little toy trains..plus he gave me a detailed lesson on the names of all his precious trains :) so i now know all the names of the members of the thomas and friends family.

james!

bertie and percy :) (he insisted they take the shot together cos they're good friends)

emily!

plus a few many others which i shan't bore u with..haha he just loves thomas and friends..and basically anything to do with trains..kids these days have so many nice toys. haha well thomas and friends have been around for awhile i suppose..but lucas really does have quite a nice toy collection. i guess there are perks to being the first and very much loved little boy in the family.

huh..who'd have thought that talking trains with faces and personalities would turn out to be such a big hit. apparantly there's a huge thomas and friends world (similar to disney world) in japan! haha with life-size trains and rails..and why japan of all places..don't the japanese have enough of their own japanese characters like doraemon (thats the big blue earless creature right) or hello kitty?

going to bathe now! :)

2008-06-07T05:18:00.000+10:00

waiting for my hair to dry now..haha my mum would scold me for bathing so late if she were here. and so another week gone..feels like just yesterday my family left, but its really been almost a week! this week..i had exams..concert rehearsals..the concert!

haha it really went quite well i think :) steve (our conductor) was pretty happy after and there was much more of an audience than i expected. here's me with my section-mates..pat is seriously THE tallest guy i know. i barely reach his shoulder (i'm tiptoeing in the photo i think).

forgive the poor quality of the photo..it was taken with my camera phone cos my camera's just refusing to work :( i can't even turn it on..boooo. my sister says i should just go with canon next time. hhrm guess i'll see if it can still be saved before getting too upset.

hungry now..haha although i really shouldn't be. i had two dinners tonight..one pre-concert and one post-concert. haha been eating my fair share of good food lately..that was a given when my family was here last week..then this week there's been turkish food..spanish food..italian food..oh well. perhaps i'm hungry cos its so late now..plus mahjong burns some calories..hahaha.

tired now. good night all! :)

2008-06-04T21:47:00.005+10:00

lucas with his favourite pillow - mr pillowpuss :) its sort of his safety blanket..he has to sniff at it every night before going to bed and he hugs it to sleep :) heheh :)

i used to have one :( i think my mum threw it out..hahah oh well. i guess we all eventually have to let go of our safety blankets don't we.

2008-06-01T17:02:00.001+10:00

everyone's in sydney!! :) It feels so good to have family here..to be able to all sit down around a dinner table together, to be able to see everyone, talk to everyone..i really didn't realize what i was missing until they came to me in Sydney. and just like that, 2 weeks flew by! can't believe my sister was here for that long..it sure felt alot faster :p but really, i had a great time :) thanks for coming to visit jeh :)

my parents came down for the second week tooo..but i think it was more cos they missed lucas..not ME. hahaha.

but i don't blame them..he's just too adorable for words now :) he's alot steadier on his feet now; he was literally running all about the place and he can talk so much more now! aah how fast kids learn :)

and after the last 2 weeks of good food, exploring beaches / parks / gardens, shopping, yummy dinners at my sister's place..i've got to settle down and study for the upcoming exams now :p boooo. but oh well, i really shouldn't complain! i felt abit sad saying goodbye this morning..but i'll see everyone again soon enough :) haha very very soon actually.

2008-05-19T18:24:00.001+10:00

i really should be working on my assignment now..instead i'm spending my time blogging and facebooking and checking emails..haha i've been wasting more time on facebook lately..thanks to a certain someone..you la. hahah all that vampire and mob boss nonsense :)

sleeepy..and cold :( i don't like winter! i miss all-year-round warm singapore weather at times like these..i'm huddled up next to my heater right now with a glass of hot tea and trying to get some work done..but can't seem to concentrate somehow..fleeting things keep going through my mind - my sister arriving here on wed :) ; parents coming next monday; music assignment due soon :( ; that weird dream i had the other night.

haha i dreamt that i was performing on stage..it was a percussion ensemble of some sort cos pat and steve were there..and jing jing too for some weird reason! haha i was at my drumset and halfway through the song the drumset suddenly just fell apart into pieces..but pat and steve kept telling me to continue playing..haha and then pat just suddenly shouted "DAMN WAGNER!" i think this is reminiscent of this really really slow piece by richard wagner. its one of those pieces where we have to count throughout the whole boring song cos we're only playing like a few notes near the end of the piece. haha so now everytime we practice it pat goes "damn wagner".

okie enough procrasinating..back to work!

2008-05-07T10:19:00.004+10:00

munching on banana cookies now..hahah although they taste abit more like flat little round banana cakes now...think they had more cookie-like consistency when they first came out of the oven..haha i've inadvertently been on a banana craze of late..made banana bread last week..then banana cookies this week..but its really just because my bananas were getting over-ripe and i didn't want to waste them! haha i suppose i could have just eaten the bananas..but oh well. :)

things around the house seem to be breaking down this week..first it was the kitchen lights, then our leaky shower head. haha i guess we should have fixed our lights awhile ago..we started off with 4 lights..then 2 went out..then 1 more a week ago..so we were left with 1 working light.then yesterday i finally got around to getting new light bulbs! unfortunately i think i messed up with the voltage or something :( cos the lights were nice and bright for about an hour after i had changed them..then they ALL went POOF. sorry LM and gloria :( so now our kitchen is in eternal darkness and i really should go and get the correct bulbs. as for the leaky shower..our cheapskate shower head which we replaced just awhile ago got leaky again..such a waste of water. haha but i think i found a makeshift solution..we'll see how it goes:)

time to do some work! blah.

2008-04-29T01:22:00.000+10:00

hheeelp. my toes are honestly freezing..i guess thats what i get for wearing slippers out today..it feels like winter's here already! :( hahah ling even insisted on lending me an extra sweater and scarf (which i'm very very very grateful for) to brave the winds on my way home from dinner :)

lionel was telling me how nicely my sister sang at church that day. and that made me realise i really miss listening to her sing during mass..the choir at OLSH isn't exactly bad..but i find that choirs here in general differ from those in singapore in that they don't try to involve the congregation as much in the singing..which should be the point of the mass shouldn't it? of course its nice listening to the beautiful choir and all..but i think its more important to make the congregation want to sing the hymns as well and praise God together..oh well. thats just me. but i always like how my sister tries to involve everyone and leads the church in the singing, rather than sing for everyone in the church.

cold :( i'm wishing for some nice hot chocolate right now :) and my bolster to hug :)

2008-04-24T02:07:00.002+10:00

aahh. feeling very satisfied now with our dinner at pancakes at the rocks :) hehh. although i'm feeling very sleepy now with my full stomach..wanted to work on my music assignment but think i'll just do that tmr.

sigh. was quite annoyed with my music tutor today cos she only announced today how she wanted a particular part of the assignment done..when i've already done about 80% of the assignment in the way she originally outlined it in the guidelines! haha and don't blame me for being muggerish and doing it ahead of time..its due in a few days and most of the class expressed similar sentiments for being in the same situation. we were all quite peeved..but oh well. shouldn't complain. should just do it.

today's class was rather interesting..we were listening to and analyzing several popular classical works..i've always just listened to a piece and thought to myself "good/bad, nice/boring, happy/sad"..haha its cool to discern reasons why a certain composer chooses to write a piece in a particular way..nothing is done randomly! its all planned from the start. i like the idea that every song has a story :) even without any lyrics..we may listen to something without knowing the little hidden meanings and thoughts the composer put into the piece..but if we do it all just ties in so nicely and the song suddenly has new meaning to you. and i think its cool how i have trouble understanding my tutor when she simply first explains something in words, but then when she illustrates her explanations by playing it or allowing us to listen to the piece it suddenly all becomes clear. its like it all just comes to you in a sudden rush and i think "oh wow i get that." :)

on an entirely unrelated issue, clinton won the Pennsylvania primaries..hmm i admit i'm sort of rooting for obama..although i think this time's election really is interesting..it'll be a first time for the US presidential position either way..a woman or a black? haha not that i have anything against a woman being a president..i just can't understand how clinton could have pushed for the Iraq war. hmmmm.

k hair's dry now :) good night all!

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2008-04-22T01:51:00.001+10:00

was reading the news about the pope visiting ground zero and blessing the ground where the twin towers used to stand..gosh has it really been 7 yrs?i still remember watching the news with my family the night of the sept 11 attacks..

hahah maybe some of you knew this already but i didn't..here's the pope in his popemobile :) (thats what its really called!) hehe specially designed for him to be more visible..hrm personally i think i'd feel abit claustrophobic in there..despite being surrounded by clear glass..

and the pope's gonna be in sydney in july!for world youth day..quite exciting to think that.

"Bring peace to our violent world... turn to your way of love those whose hearts and minds are consumed with hatred." - Pope Benedict XVI.

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2008-04-21T00:09:00.000+10:00

its been a lazy/rainy week!and a nice weekend:) its only the second week of ILP and my supervisor's been pushing at me to get out my literature review draft..but oh well. she pushes nicely. and she's been very helpful:)

i'm impressed with how passionate some people can be..regarding matters that people of the general population (like me) hardly give a second thought to..like my supervisor. she's really dedicated such a large part of her life to the topic in question..to the extent that she lectures, holds conferences, organizes workshops and publishes papers about it..when most people would just go "huh?" when i tell them what i'm working on for the whole of the year..hahah. maybe thats why God put so many people on earth..so everyone can find their own interests and contribute/share their own individual passions with the rest of the world..

hehe so i finally got around to downloading photos onto my computer..so here are random shots from the year..

mardi gras 2008!

goodbye olivia :( hehe but i hope u're enjoying your time back home :)

And then it was goodbye to louisa tooo..hahah on the heels of a very mad night of moving all her stuff into storage..it was quite a night of physical activity :p haha thank goodness adam was there to help..and he insisted on carrying all the heavy stuff like a perfect gentleman :)

fish market:) heh like i mentioned its been a very rainy week..hhaha but the weather yest morning was perfect for us..i think i've settled my sashimi and seafood cravings for awhile now:)

hehe today was nice too:) went for church..then i accompanied my sister in her quest for some much-needed retail therapy..hai i'm sorry to say this..haha but retail therapy really does work. its hard not to be materialistic in our world.

haha oh and i followed deb's link on her blog to earn rice for the poor! i thought it was a scam at first too but now i think its legit. heh. anyway its just a simple word game..help feed the hungry!:)

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2008-04-14T00:23:00.000+10:00

lazy lazy day..haha actually the whole weekend's been rather indolent. oh well, i keep telling myself i deserve a break after the horrible exam period..haha but i need to get my music assignment done sooon. and my literature review's due soon too. haai. but it's a nice switch from mugging med i suppose..haha its much more fun drawing little tao kay musical notes than it is to type up medical case reports:)

oh by the way..haha i screwed up rock and roll :p my stick just flew out of my right hand right in the middle of the solo. after the performance, my conductor actually said it looked quite funny..my stick really just flew into the air at the anti-climax. maybe i was nervous, maybe my hands were sweaty..oh well. the other songs went alright at least. i am a little peeved at myself of course, but i think i'd be alot more bothered if it had happened to me back in RGS or RJ..haha maybe i'm under the influence of the general laid-back attitude here? or maybe i felt comforted after..haha my sectionmates were very nice about it after the concert. my conductor says "it happens to everybody!" (haha which i doubt so). and i had a little cheering squad during the performance :) thank you dear :)

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2008-04-09T22:52:00.003+10:00

hehe. in the last week since i've ended exams..its felt good to just sit back and relax for abit..to have nice lunches and dinners out..to just walk around bondi and the city leisurely..to catch up on recent movies..haha by the way, i think horton and the whos is worth catching. quite a bizzare but cute storyline:) i like katie! - "In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies!"

sighs but i guess i can't loll around forever..ILP also started this week (we only had 4 pathetic days of holidays after our awful exam)..haha and my music homework and assignments are starting to pile up already..but i'm really not complaining! i'd rather do anything than turn to my medical books and notes for awhile..although i'm honestly a little stressed over my performance tmr :/ haha maybe cos i'm just used to being a little more prepared than how I feel right now..we used to have intensive practices before any kind of concert in RGS and RJC..and now i'm performing an hour's worth of pieces that I only sightread for the first time last week! we had a grand total of two 2-hour practices for this performance..argh. please please just don't let me freak out tmr. haha and guess what? we're performing rock and roll hall of fame once again! (RGS girls should know this piece well:) ) bleah. hands please don't shake too much tmr!

oh and I met my ILP supervisor today (for those who don't know, ILP's basically my research year) who's really very nice:) my topic's abit dry right now but I'm hoping that it'll get more interesting as I know more about the subject..haha but for now..she handed me a tall stack of readings to get through for my literature review..aiyo.

haha so stressful concert aside..life's good now:) really!

debs: i'm sorry to have been mia for awhile! haha but i'll be here more often now again:)
olivia: you're missed too ollie:) haha life feels weird now..so different to not be mugging or going to hospital..how's life back home?

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2008-04-04T13:57:00.000+11:00

exams are over!! --> :) :) heheh. i'm sorry for the lack of blogging..haha is anyone still reading this?? so the exam went alright...the examiners were really very nice...although on hindsight i wonder if they were just being nice to make up for the poor scores they gave me..if i think more about it i'll probably just get more scared and depressed by the many little things i missed out in my answers..but i was just so happy to get it OVER and done with. please please..i just pray i PASS. i was literally shaking that morning of the exam..i had to report at sutherland hospital at 9am which was typically a 40min drive away..but i wasn't sure how to get there so i told myself i would leave the house by 7am..hahaha thanks to olivia's excellent directions i managed to get there in 25min..so it was a long nervous wait before the start of the exam...

anyway. its OVER!! haha i really still can't quite grasp that concept yet. heheh it felt so good yesterday..to just put away all my notes and clear my carpet of miscellaneous scribbled bits of paper and lecture notes and textbooks..haha i can actually walk to my bed now without having to step over any piles of paper on my floor..

ktv yesterday!!haha we originally booked the room for 2 hours..and ended up staying there for FIVE. hahah..but yep it was fun :) it just feels so good to be doing ANYTHING other than mugging right now..haha but i guess under the circumstances, the last few weeks really haven't been all that bad..it could have been alot worse. heheh thank you housemates for the mugging sessions :) i think studying together really helps..and panicking together tooo.

gonna meet olivia and louisa for lunch soon...kind of sad to think that they're leaving..haha i think before exams..i wasn't really thinking of anything beyond that point of my timeline..it was just the exam. and anything else happening after that didn't really register yet..i'll miss them. but oh well. i'll see them again soon enough :)

lalala. :)

2008-03-07T00:43:00.001+11:00

"you have a wife at home?"
"only one."

hahah this patient was so cheeky. i'm enjoying geriatrics much to my surprise:) not that i had anything against it..just that i didn't really think i'd be that interested in it..but ya its been good:) haha i can say i'm even enjoying being grilled on medications by my scary tutor..

huh.its now week 7..getting scared :( i really really just want to pass please. in the midst of assignments and exam preparation..i realise i've neglected lent and the coming easter this year..well..maybe not neglected per say..but i guess i haven't been thinking about the significance of the period as much as i would like to this year :( but..its not too late! its still lent. shall try to be more attentive to His word this next week.

this last week has sort of thrown me off balance..both good and bad stuff happened..bad stuff which i'm trying hard to put out of mind for now. haaii. but..as i said, good stuff happened too:) guess the bad stuff just makes us appreciate the good even more:)

i'm just thinking...there was this patient today...he was found wandering around in the park with a fracture..confused and homeless and drunk. i later found out he turned to alcohol after his wife and only child were killed in a car accident many years before..and he was the driver :( it really just makes the "bad stuff" in my life seem insignificant in comparison. but why do these things have to happen..its just so sad :(

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2008-02-28T22:23:00.001+11:00

hahah i was reading mandy's blog...and an alarming bit of news caught my attention..goodness. i never thought these kinds of things happened in singapore..

"...walks with a limp and is presently at large. island-wide manhunt has fanned out to areas in Upper bukit timah and near Singapore Chinese Girls School." and its taking place so close to my house no less!i bet my mom is freaking out about it right now. hahaha but somehow i find it amusing how the whole thing just seems so harry potter. but i doubt if this guy turns out to be the good guy like sirius black.

and why does the limp somehow make him sound scarier? hahaha.

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2008-02-22T21:40:00.001+11:00

and its friday yet again! i'm scared by how fast time is flying by...there's just not enough time! help :(

this week is geriatrics...i've got a scary tutor who walks really quickly..and us poor medical students are forced to literally run after her on the wards and up the stairs..yes unfortunately she just loves taking the stairs over the elevator..the other day she flew up 8 flights of stairs and she had to wait at the top for us while we were panting our way up behind her. and she does this wearing heels! i think its her long legs. she's really tall! and i don't think she realises how fast she's actually walking.

haha but i have the feeling she's actually pretty nice la. she interacts really well with her patients:) most of the geriatric specialists do actually..but obviously one has to like working with old people to be in this field. most of the old patients i've seen so far have been really sweet actually..you just have to be patient with them.

haha there was this cute lady who declared one minute that she never had children. then in the next moment she was proudly telling us that she had 3 sons Joseph, Michael and Henry. Joseph is apparently a really good boy:) in retrospect, its quite sad that she can't even remember if she has children..but its bittersweet to think that she was very happy with the family she had in mind. she kept going on about how much she loves her sons. i hope...that when i get old and grey and demented..i will at least remember the people i love, or at least remember the happiness i feel when i think of these people.

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2008-02-15T19:36:00.000+11:00

i'm currently in a hazy state..haha or rather i'm drugged up..thanks to the wonders of panadeine forte. now i understand why some patients would refuse pain meds..they can make u feel drowsy and nauseas and just disorientated. but of course they do get rid of the pain.. :p

so this week has been about palliative care..symptom relief and morphine and empathetic doctors and crying families of patients :( wards rounds have really been kind of depressing..but at the same time they've been eye-opening..i guess palliative care is really not for everyone..can't say for sure that i won't ever consider doing the specialty myself..but i think its hard to have to detach yourself from your patients but be empathetic towards their situation at the same time.

this week has robbed me of my sleep..haha yesterday we were given a class on steps to undertake in the event of the death of a patient. the tutor asked for a volunteer to be the dead body..haha i was half-tempted to give into the lure of being able to lie down on the hospital bed for awhile..anything to close my eyes and take a quick break from listening to the tutor go on and on..but i quickly decided it would be a bit too creepy..hahah.

happy valentine's day. :) :)

nic: my name is 杜雪盈. 你好吗? haha:)
xinli: i wished i could have played MJ with u toooo! haha but we'll play more when i'm back k. & u should have gotten more practise by then! haha..exams aren't too nice :p haha but aren't they always.
mandy: oh wow u do! haha its nice to be chinese isn't it:) hehe. happy new year to you tooo!
ning: hahaha thank you! although i'm not sure if being a cutie pie at my age is considered a compliment..hahaha:)

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2008-02-09T14:11:00.000+11:00

恭喜发财 everyone!!

my sister was telling me about the usual festivities back home..it feels sad to not be a part of it all..but we take what we can get right? my week really wasn't too bad..reunion dinner night was rainy and cold in sydney..perfect weather for a hotpot dinner! and i'm glad that although i'm not home with family and friends..i still got to spend cny with people i care about here:) hmm but still...of course it feels different here..no lunch at mama's place on the first day..no reunion dinner with the cousins..no endless supply of cny goodies..no mandarins and gaudy flower arrangements that my mom usually decorates the house with..no ANG PAOS. hahaha..well actually..my sis did mention that she's been collecting my share of the loot..so sweet of my relatives to not forget about me:) I guess its one of the advantages of being one of 3 sisters..all the aunties and uncles usually think of us as a set i suppose. so its glaringly obvious that i'm missing..hahah anyway its nice to be remembered:)

i like being chinese:) i like how the family gathers around to eat together at the end of a day..i like dumplings, paos & prawn mee..i like chinese 词语s and how sometimes a 词语 just seems to aptly describe a moment in no way i can describe in english. i think my chinese name is nice:) i like giving tea and mandarins to my grandma every cny and telling her 身体健康! 万事如意! i think cantonese sound cool and i wish i knew how to speak more of it:) i love lanterns during mooncake festival and i think cheongsams are pretty:)

heh. anyway enough rambling. 新年快乐 everyone!!

2008-02-02T18:37:00.000+11:00

hello. haiii. the sky's looked threatening all day but nothing's happened! just rain la! anyway, I am dying. stuck in a vacuum of time. I don't like the time before exams. hahaha:) I really don't feel like studying anymore...and its only the end of week 2! haha but i shan't whine..its not like i've done that much today.

heheh in honour of chinese new year (which we are all sadly unable to celebrate back in singapore with friends and family), I made pineapple tarts today! they're not fantastic, but they taste ok:) heheh. and at least I feel there is some semblance of the festive cheer in the air now. but now my arm is kind of achy from chopping and hacking and stirring pineapple..hahah so lousy right. hey but i seriously chopped up a whole heap of pineapple. that reminds me..I promised my sister I would try to keep up with the exercise while in sydney..sorry jeh :( I will try harder!

In the last 2 weeks, I've sat in on clinics, seen many many lumps and bumps, exposed myself to radiation in the radiotherapy rooms, chased after grouchy doctors on ward rounds, been up to the prison ward! yes that was cool:) haha I didn't even realise the hospital had a prison ward. gosh. we had to enter several heavy doors..get past an intercom..sign in..deposit all our stuff before entering the jail-cell-like tall door with the "no firearms beyond this point" sign..the prisoner we saw was pretty nice actually; he let us lowly medical students palpate his abdomen. but it was quite sad also cos he had advanced cancer and only had a few weeks left :( anyway. when we left the room the guard yelled at the prisoner "don't move!not one step away from your bed!" :/

cancer..it just feels surreal somehow. what if it was someone I knew, or someone I really cared about? isn't it easier to suffer yourself, than to see people you love suffer? Its like that silly argument my parents used to have..about who would die first. my mum would insist that she wants to die first, then my dad would say thats selfish cos then he'd be left alone. hmmm. anyway, I vaguely remember something someone told me before. something C.S Lewis said about how God uses pain and anguish to shout at us "you there!remember me!" I suppose its during times of distress that we have to remind ourselves He's there for us.

2008-01-27T03:49:00.000+11:00

thank you guys!!:) very much:) haha i honestly went to dinner expecting just a small group of us..so germ was very surprised to see everyone there:)

the organisers! haha plus jason and jerome.

haha the theme was supposed to be peter pan. hence louisa's green feather and krishna's pirate eye:) hehe.

haha this birthday cake was apparantly hidden in our fridge for 2 days..underneath some salad leaves..haha i can't believe i missed it.

and this is the pretty cake the girls surprised me with at midnight!hehe speckled with dark chocolate smarties:) pretty!

i know i keep saying this..but i am really touched by everything you guys did!:) hehe.

2008-01-19T01:29:00.000+11:00

Some snapshots of my last week..

nami island in korea:) tralala.

skiing was fun!:) harder & more tiring than it looks. but definitely something i wanna do again:)

me in my pink ski suit. i didn't have much choice in the colour! but it really was warm & comfy:)

whoopee. i really had fun with you qi:) join me back in sydney soon please!

haha after korea, i had a couple of days back home before i had to jet off for sydney..during which i had many nice surprises:)

lynn! you really made my day:) with your company, and also by your very thoughtful present:) i love it! will think of you everytime and everyday that i use it!

haha i really was surprised guys. more than a week earlier, but it was still a special day for me:)

and so it all starts again..back in sydney..exams..but i'm just gonna take one thing at a time. guess you could say i'm feeling the normal missing-home-blues right now..but dinner with olivia perked me up:) somehow it doesn't feel as bad this time around..maybe i'm getting used to it, or maybe i'm just being more optimistic for the year to come..

oh and yay! my car is still alive!! hahah the first thing i noticed was the thick layer of dust blanketing the hood and windscreen. but i was so relieved when the engine started, albeit the engine only made a few weak noises when i first started the car, and i was half-afraid the car would just die on me when i first drove out onto the road. but all's good:) haha and it happened to be raining..so for a moment the windscreen was entirely gray cos of the blanket of dust, but the rain gave my car a good bathe:) hahah. whoopee.

going to bed now. i had near-zero sleep on the plane..haha the A380 isn't actually that much more spacious..but the tv screens are bigger:)

2008-01-07T04:30:00.000+11:00

ruth! i've missed you so much:) hmmm. talking to you today helped me put things into perspective. sometimes i think i've got things under control, when i don't. but seriously, things are looking up:) reeeaaallly:)

yoohoo!

over here!

HERE!!!

hahah don't ask me what i was doing..i honestly thought i was out of range of the camera..think i was just trying to disturb cindy. hahaha and this was before most of the tequila..tequila party with the girls turned out to be quite a success. haha its the first time i've seen cindy pull an all-nighter. i don't know how i'm actually still lucid now after my grand total of 2hours sleep in the last 24hrs..and i'm supposed to be waking up in 4hrs time for my flight tmr morning..hahah i think i'll be zzzzz-ing away on my first day in korea. anyway, last night was a blast girls:)

people! i'll be back bearing gifts on the 14th! see most of you again sooon:)

2008-01-05T02:48:00.000+11:00

wayne trying to look pro!

me and ruth:)

haha pool with the guys...just brought back memories of the JC days..in a way, its like no time has passed since then! haha everyone looks & sounds the same. hahaha except for wayne..who sounded huskier than before..heh he attributed it to a sore throat but we all think he just finally got through puberty.

heh the guys say i should find a SSS for myself in sydney..hahaha SSS being shy shuai surfer dude. hmm. can't say i can think of anyone who fits that profile..hahah but then again, i'm not that into surfers :p i'm weird eh?

fengwei making his singing debut!

hahah wayne challenged me..he would pick ANY song for me to sing & me the same for him. so i ended up being barbie for the night! "I'm a barbie girl!in a barbie world!" my gosh. how awful are those lyrics. hahaha at least wayne helped me out by growling out ken's "lets go barbie lets go barbie.." haha that was just hilarious:)

i had fun yesterday!haha what started out as a small dinner turned out to be a little class gathering for the day:) joint effort by me and shanon:) wish we could do this more often! it was really nice seeing you all again:)

2008-01-02T02:56:00.000+11:00

happy new year everyone:)

the last year was...eventful. many trials and tribulations, but also many situations that allowed me to see & learn new things about myself & the people around me..i'd say i ended the year pretty happy, considering all things:) thanks to the people in my life, and thanks to God:)

thanks to newfound friendships, and thanks to old friends and of course family who have always been there for me. sometimes i wonder what i've done to deserve all the people in my life, and i just hope that all of you know what you really mean to me..i don't say these things out loud too often, but i also don't want you all to think that i'm taking anything for granted.

this year...i pray that i may be more perceptive, more appreciative, more patient with the people around me. i realise that patience has become somewhat of a repeated thing i pray for. perhaps because i am just waiting..for things to just come to some sort of an end, happy or not. but i really doubt that will happen anytime soon. but i've learnt to take things easier. no point dwelling on things right? at my lowest, i found that a simple smile and a mere listening ear did best to calm me down. & i really am grateful for that k. :)

so this year started with a bang:) hahaha many colourful bangs actually..but before the year started, i had a good closing to 2007 too:) haha filled with surprises, reminders & nice little moments of simple bliss:) too bad the hols are coming to an end soon..i feel like i'm just getting started. haha but enough of that..there's precious time left, and so many things left to do!

just a thought. its never possible to fully know a person is it? even after decades of years of marriage, i know my parents are still finding out new things about one another. even i don't know myself well; i'm surprised sometimes at how i react to new situations. or even with familiar situations, i find myself doing different things. but then i'm also surprised by how well some people seem to know me; to know what i need to hear at a certain time, to know when i need to just sit quietly without talking, to know when i need to let everything out. its scary sometimes how other people can know you better than you know yourself:) but also a nice thought:)

2007-12-31T02:57:00.000+11:00

tis the season to be jolly...falalalala:)

haha this year my mum forced all of us to wear silly party hats to celebrate...

and i mean ALL of us! hahaha i think poor buster was just stunned when she popped the hat on him:)

of course some individuals carried off the party hats with STYLE. :)

and what's the holiday season without food?:)

i like my sister's attention to detail..hehe she even made sure the salad was in xmas colours..

chris is one excellent chef..the turkey was incredible! he spent 2 hours slaving over it and it definitely paid off:) and the roast pork was yummy too! though when he served it, there was a large area of crispy skin missing on one side..which he later confessed had "accidentally fallen into his mouth" when it had first come out of the oven..haha:)

2007-12-24T03:07:00.000+11:00

xmas is about....

fooood :)

fun!

friends...

family...

enjoying some quiet time with loved ones:)

remembering that day that Jesus was born:)

this last week has passed in a blur..my legs are kind of achy now..and i have the feeling they will feel worse tmr..haha its a result of our "trek" at macRitchie this afternoon..it turned out to be quite an adventure! hhaha somehow our excursions always turn out not according to the original plan..but i suppose its these turnouts that make these little adventures more memorable:) i had fun! despite the rain & the mud! the view from the treetop walk is pretty:)

clot has come & gone! haha i don't know why..its ridiculous, but i felt kind of sad saying bye to the band girls that day. although i will see you guys again sooon! hehe maybe cos i haven't seen them all in a long while.

in other news, lucas started singing his first madonna song the other day! she was singing on the car radio, & he suddenly burst out "papa don't preeach!" hahaha. he even added an "oow" after the chorus (in mimicry of madonna). so he now belts out "papa don't preach!" if you ask him to sing 'the madonna song'. hahaha he's smart isn't he? well he tries! and today at lunch, after saying grace, he continued, "in the name of the father, son, & holy spit (he meant spirit! no blasphemy intended here :p). aa-men."

as lucas now sings "rejoish! rejoish!" (rejoice! rejoice!) :) christmas is here! merry xmas everyone:)

思文? 丝文? someone please help me out here :( hahaha..

2007-12-21T00:08:00.001+11:00

it started off as a day blading at east coast park...haha unfortunately, the rainy weather forced us to turn our blading plans into a food hunt around singapore! turkish food at east coast park for lunch was followed by macaroons, kway chap & shui kuay at tiong bahru..we ended the day with a hotpot/bbq at cindy's :) haha it was literally non-stop eating and laughing from 12pm to 12 midnight.

how to eat shui kuay:

pick up your toothpicks & STAB!

then open wide!

on a side note, the girls say i have violent tendencies..haha and that i am actually very much less 斯文 than i look..真的是人不可貌像! haha..please tolerate my attempts at trying to improve my chinese.

i remember how much i loved this as a kid! its even more fun now that they've replaced the old tires with more comfortable seats..haha and more fun cos we had the whole place to ourselves..although i think we attracted alot of unwanted attention with all our screaming and running..hahaha :)

thank you girls for the lovely day! haha it felt strangely surreal..just eating and driving and talking and lolling around on the sand and sea..and thanks for listening:) 我真的玩到好开心 :)

2007-12-16T02:08:00.000+11:00

for the last time...enough is enough already...please? :(

2007-12-13T00:47:00.000+11:00

the world from an ant's point of view:)

ready? its time for cooking mama!

pour that flour!

chop those vegetables!

beat those eggs!!

whew...and we take a breather. hehe. guess who was the reigning champion of cracking eggs?

the golden compass. ktv. wii. paella, dumplings, ramen, sushi. xmas lights at orchard. the girls sleeping over! - my past 2 days in a nutshell:)

2007-12-08T02:20:00.001+11:00

tired...and several shades darker..haha after spending quite some time out in the sun today..

we went to sentosa today! & i can't help being slightly disappointed..cos there was just so much construction going on! haha there really wasn't much to see..cos there were cranes and construction workers and lorries and trucks everywhere..more than half the beach was closed off in preparation for zouk out as well..haha oh well. but it was still fun! :) :) company's important on these kinds of outings :)

hahaha a funny thing happened today..err. but i don't think i should go into details here, cos its really embarrassing. hahha anyway to cut it short..i thought i was being stalked by some freaky pervert aaandd..it turned out to be my sister playing a silly prank on me..sheesh. i think i am just too gullible at times.

hmm. i really must learn to say no. and to be less subserviant to other people's requests. i just find it so hard to say NO. no no germ..this is not the way..not the way.

phinpeng: hey:) sorrry about that..haha its really not as serious as it sounds la:) so when are you heading off for europe?
clot: hey hey!haven't talked to you in ages...booo. haha how's melbourne?
xinli: yes the tree was pretty wasn't it! we were prettier of course. hahah yep and the crab tasted goood. hehe can't wait for next tues!
yahui: hey yahui! did you get my email?:)

2007-12-06T03:50:00.000+11:00

that time of the year is here again!! christmas... i like:) elmo, cookie monster, bert and ernie were singing of their joy for the season at taka the other day. hmm. i don't know why..but i always thought that elmo would be alot smaller than cookie monster. hahha but they're both cute!

then we went singing tooo! haha here's xinli belting out a lovely tune to me..awww. :)

and here's cindy in her typical singing pose. haha she says she sings best in this position. personally my thighs would kill me..but each to her own:)

it seems that almost every other song is about unrequited love..or breaking up..or finding that perfect person. is that all life is about? the romantic love that we yearn for? i guess its just a topic that's emphasized in movies & music..sure it can make us happy:) but there's definitely more to life right. anyway, who am i to talk about love? what matters is that we're happy right:)

haha anyway this is out of point, but i realise that when i first listen to a song, what i listen to is the melody and background music, rather than the lyrics..so even if a song has crappy lyrics, it can still appeal to me if there's a nice piano part or an impressive drummer. i only listen to the words after the music has sunk in, unless the words really touch me or reach out to me..haha with chinese songs, it obviously takes even longer..haha there were so many little gaps here and there in my singing cos i couldn't read so many of the chinese words! booo. but i am learning! haha cindy and xinli were impressed with my increased library of chinese songs. guess i have someone to thank for that:)

hmm. somehow presence makes absence more evident.

2007-12-04T03:27:00.000+11:00

today was great:) hehe yay exams are finally over for most people, and that means i get to play more too..the christmas tree at central is so pretty! it must eat up quite alot of electricity though..

haha enchanted makes me feel like sticking my head out the window and singing...just to see if the birds and the bees will flock to my calling:) my neighbours will think i'm insane though..hehe. its a ridiculous story when you think about it, but very cute! and there's eye candy in the movie! haha:)

friends! i've missed you guys:)

hehe and i think this is a cute photo of cindy's beady eyes. eyeing our dinner..haha. lunch and shopping tmr! and ktv again soon! :) lalala..

2007-12-03T00:57:00.000+11:00

its been a good week:) lots and lots of food, church back at st iggy's, some attempts at exercise..hehe it feels good to swim again. and after just a couple of short swimming sessions i'm already noticibly much darker. boooo. haha oh well, its good to get a little colour:)

oh and I'm very sorry if my last post worried some of you! really didn't mean to make it sound so serious..well we all thought it was something serious, and not that it isn't serious, but its really not as bad as it sounds! haha. ask me for more details if you really wanna know.

we cooked crab! chilli crabs..and pepper crabs:) yummy. hehe it was easier than i thought..i think i can do it again..haha except for the killing of the crabs part :p but it turned out niiiice.

i'm watching enchanted tmr with the girls! hehe after waiting patiently for xinli to finish her exams. yaaay.

YOU make me h a p p y. :) lalala.

2007-11-29T01:27:00.000+11:00

huh. i always knew i was weird..i guess today is just another shining example of that. it really just wasn't anything i expected..and i don't think it was what any of the nurses and doctors were expecting too. my mum says she was so worried just sitting there in the waiting room..she could see more and more people being called to enter my room. another nurse, a senior nurse, then the radiologist, and they all came out looking puzzled. haha. i am an enigma! i can't say the CT scan was too pleasant an experience though..especially the injection of the contrast medium part :( what a weird weird sensation. but at least now i know what the problem is..

2007-11-26T04:17:00.000+11:00

i love my parents, i really do. though sometimes i just can't fathom their actions, & i just can't see things the way they do.

so its dinnertime and my parents are talking about boring stuff like money and bills and i'm half spacing out and concentrating on my dinner. then the conversation turns to my future (somehow) & my mum starts saying stuff about how i should make preparations for the possibility of me getting a divorce or separation with my future husband, about how i need to protect my assets and how i need to take precautions. eer. ok its sweet in that i guess she's just trying to protect me and doesn't want me to have to go through unnecessary grief. but still. i'm not even married yet! and she's talking about my divorce! if possible, i really don't want that to happen to me? still, i know these things happen more often than we think, and no one who gets a divorce or has anything terrible happen to them expects these things to happen to them. who am i to say that it won't happen to me? maybe i'm just naive, but for now, can't i continue to dream of that 'ideal' life? the one with the sweet & caring husband who understands me, who won't mind my quirks and tempers and lame jokes for a lifetime, who loves me despite my shortcomings.

love is a funny thing. it is shown in so many different ways, and it comes in many different ways! parental love. why bother loving someone who is such a burden? thats a question only a parent can truly answer maybe. but perhaps knowing that someone is depending on you to fulfil their lives makes your own more enriching. love is giving your own life and time and energy to make another life more meaningful.

then there's love between friends. some may think this is the smallest type of love, especially compared to the others. but i do believe, if given the chance to take root, it can really grow to mean so so much. this love is somehow not as committed as the romantic kind of love; i don't mean this in a bad way! of course with any friend, you have to be committed to keep in touch with one another, but its not like there's a written pact or vows made such as in marriage. its less stressful and demanding, yet comforting to know that there are people who will always be there for you, and that there are people whom you are willing to always be there for.

and of course there's falling in love. the love that the media is so fixated on, that we are brought up to look forward to because of movies/music and the ideal notion that love makes the world go round. hence many people are in a mad rush to look for their perfect guy/girl..there's no right or wrong in this i feel..and i'm definitely no expert in this field, but this one amazing thing i do know - its beautiful how a person in love can ignore his/her partner's shortcomings..well perhaps not 'ignore', but accept. we are willing to accept that whole person for who he/she is..that i feel is just...incredible. and beautiful:) falling in love is one thing..the whole phase of being happy talking to/seeing/hearing that person..but what remains after that fades is even more wonderful.

oooh silly me. i've blathered on and on about this. i'm shutting up now.

2007-11-23T23:23:00.000+11:00

If.

If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
The you I've come to know

If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you
You're all that's left me too

And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at one time I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way

If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through

Then, one by one, the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away...

- Bread

Ah i think old songs are still the most romantic. :) Its like poetry..

heelp. my throat's dying...haha probably cos of ktv. and my nose is acting up too..like it always does when i first get home..hehe and also maybe cos I haven't eaten any fruit in awhile? sorry my immune system. i better start boosting you.

2007-11-21T12:10:00.000+11:00

happy birthday lucas!
hehe this is his very yummy birthday cake, which he himself ate about 2 bites of..his little tummy was too full of his dinner to fit any more cake than that..haha:)

then he made several feeble attempts to blow out his candles..
& in the end my mum had to help him:)

hehe he ran to me & shouted "ah-yee!" the first time he saw me since i got back..hehe he kept hugging my leg..and then when i told him i had to leave, he refused to say bye to me..only finally screaming "byyee!" and waving frantically when i stepped into the lift..haai. he's such a little heartbreaker:)

so i'm back home once again..the flight back was..uncomfortable :( the air-conditioning malfunctioned, resulting in a really stuffy & hot ride home..it got pretty bad at one stage; the guy sitting next to me was complaining to the air stewardess of chest pain and dyspnoea and then he started hyperventilating! poor guy :( but it got much cooler after we gained altitude at least :)

my sister says my hair is looong. my mum says i've put on weight. my dad didn't notice anything different (as usual). haven't done anything too exciting since coming back, but i've been happy with just enjoying the company of people i've missed:) hehe me and ollie went shopping for textbooks yesterday..yes its rather nerdy to be thinking of exams already so soon after we're back..haha but we have a PLAN. we must STUDY. to avoid the stresses of the crazy last-minute cramming like so in the previous end-of-phase exam we had..haha:)

hehe sorry for the flood of photos..but i can't resist!i just find too many nice photo opportunities around lucas:) haha i hope...next time with my own kid i won't be too preoccupied with snapping away to be taking care of him/her..but then again, nothing compares to the still photos you capture in your own mind..still, photos serve as a good reminder to nice times spent:)

"eat up your froot loops lucas! then you'll grow up to be as strong as me. see my biceps!"
- my mom

"why are my feet so short?" - lucas

2007-11-20T02:33:00.000+11:00

everyone! this is lynn foo:) despite appearances, she's really very sweet:)

more importantly, she's always been there for me!

hehe. i miss you lynn! but we'll see each other soon enough..happy birthday dear:)

2007-11-14T23:47:00.000+11:00

I was just reading through some of my earlier posts when i first started blogging..haha i sounded so childish. but then, some of the predictions i made back then about my life now are pretty accurate. hhaha and i read about the time me and ling broke into the kitchen at creston with a spoon. and how mythili climbed in through the kitchen window to satisfy her cheese craving:) ahhh. fun rebellious times:)

and i had a really weird dream last night..don't remember the details, but i vaguely recall some sort of bright light at the end of a tunnel (as cliched as that sounds)...most people associate walking into the light with some sort of hope for the future or generally something good? haha and i just had a sudden thought..how do you know the light at the end isn't a train charging towards you? hahaha guess thats life. you're hopeful but there's always the chance of something screwing up your plans. still..we shouldn't let that stop us from doing anything:)

& thank you. its a small act on your part but it means alot to me:)

2007-11-13T22:33:00.000+11:00

i'm liking trauma week! haha maybe its just cos the hands-on stuff is less boring..we had intubation yesterday..then suturing and plasters today:) my clothes now have that wet market smell on them..cos we were practising suturing on pig trotters..haha..we were told to slit the pig's wrists and sew them up; and i must say, suturing is really not easy..i had no idea pig skin was so thick :( (and the tutor told us that human skin would be even tougher).

haha as for intubation...i broke the mannequin's teeth with the laryngoscope several times over :p plus many classmates made the same mistake as george (on grey's anatomy) by intubating the stomach..haha it was quite funny:)

hmm. the whole house smells of nasi goreng now. hehe..and my neighbours are having a bbq outside my window! huuungry:)

i like this photo of us! haha can anyone guess what the theme of the party was supposed to be?

2007-11-11T23:58:00.000+11:00

i'm feeling rather...distracted now. sighs. many many thoughts...of home, of assignments, of random people in my life, of things to come in the near future. concentrate!

was helping to lobby for world youth day 2008 at church today..things sound quite exciting:) its an interesting thought that people from all over the world will be convening in sydney for a huge huge mass:) and the pope will be here! hmm. and do i look japanese? or indonesian? haha cos i've been asked at least 4 occasions this week if i'm of some race other than chinese.

concentrate!

2007-11-10T12:25:00.000+11:00

happy birthday dear olivia:)

heh just a quick update..been a busy week...mostly consisting of birthday fun and assignments..one more week to go! plus something happened that made me feel a little scared..and old :( guess you never really expect these things to happen to you, although you hear of them happening all the time. and hopefully its not a big problem. i hope.

heh slept at 8pm last night..was so tired..and now its time to get some work done!

2007-11-03T16:07:00.000+11:00

i'm supposed to be doing work..haha but i got distracted and decided to organise the photos in my computer..hehe some photos from the year:)

beach day!

us in our kitchen!

creston outing! haha i think i was a bit tipsy that night.

krishna concentrating on her nose. fen, mio & ling in fits. sunita looking blur. me and louisa staring at something on the ceiling. mythili's fascinated with her feet:)

and for those who haven't seen..this is my car!:)

huungry. foodie time!

phinpeng: haha yea it would have been awful to practise on one another! but ya. hilarious :) :)
xinli: i do i do! haha:)
ruth: for sure! hope the concert preparations are coming along ok dear:) love!
nadine: i want to come back soon too..and i will be :)
jing: yes i am:) ooohh. you will be missed! :p

2007-10-31T01:12:00.000+11:00

help..i have done NOTHING tonight. haha well nothing productive anyway..i had a slow dinner, i baked cookies, i ATE the cookies (yum!) i got new songs through msn (thanks!:)), i packed my room...you get the gist.

today's class was fun! heh the morning was spent on IV cannulation..i'm just glad we got to practice on models before we actually got to do anything to actual patients :p haha my classmate was removing the needle..and she forgot to remove the tournique and there was just blood projectile squirting out of the model arm..and the tutor was pretending to pull his hair out and yelling "HELP!" oh dear.

sigh. i should be preparing for my presentation tmr. why am i not worried..about my assignments, about the impending exam..i'm just thinking of going home at this stage! i miss home :(

2007-10-29T22:18:00.000+11:00

ouch. stomachache...coincidently enough, we're doing 'abdominal pain' this week in class..haha so i'm not just wishing the pain would go away, but sort of trying to figure what the cause could be..abdominal pain in the left lumbar region..its been going on since thursday. got better then now its back. temporarily relieved by lying down, no exacerbating factors. :( differential diagnoses?

haha so sad :( when i tell my classmate that my stomach hurts, the question in mind isn't "are you feeling ok?" but "where is the pain coming from?" haha i guess we've been brainwashed to think in a certain way..

2007-10-28T23:59:00.000+11:00

Well..its been a nice weekend:) with much good food and mahjong:) feeling very sleep-deprived now though..oh and daylight-saving hours were implemented yesterday..so we lost one precious hour of sleep..heh but at least from now it won't be shining bright at 6am in the morning..

In Exodus 15, the Israelites sing in praise of God after crossing the red sea..the Father asked us how we react to happiness..haha and i realise i do much the same actually..if i could, i would burst into song when i feel happy:) haha but i don't, for obvious reasons..

Now..i need to get some work done :p

xinli: hmm. i don't like being compared to a lizard-like creature. haha:)
jing: jingjing! hello:) yes its been ages..are you going back in dec?
nic: miss ya too:) heh will you be going home soon too?
gloria: heh i will if you buy me more! haha:) i think i'll bake something this week. cookies?

2007-10-23T23:03:00.000+10:00

hmmm. white chocolate cheesecake:) yummy! thanks gloria:)

hehe my stomach was making so many noises during my last class..guess my quick lunch couldn't really sustain me..haha but dinner and cheesecake for dessert tasted very satisfying after that:) just so sleepy now :(

my legs are achy now too..haha from standing around in the OT..haha ok but i shouldn't whine so much. it really wasn't so bad:) the doctors were really nice and explained things to us well:) and abit off the topic, but my tutor thinks my hair is orange-coloured :p haha people keep asking me if i've done anything to my hair colour..but NO i haven't! haha its just fading very drastically. its gone from red to brown to light brown now. but orange? :(

2007-10-22T21:39:00.000+10:00

hehe i talked to lucas today! as in..i talked, he replied, like an actual conversation:)

"Hello?"
"har-low?"
"Lucas!"
"Ah-yeee!"
"How are you?"
"Good."

ok so it wasn't the most exciting conversation ever, but he actually understands what i'm saying to him!haha ok maybe you won't find it that amazing, but it is to me:) to see him move from babbling to one-syllable words to stringing random words together to mimicking people to actually making conversation:)

its ironic, but sometimes the more you see of / talk to a person, the more you miss the person? sigh. the heart ponders....

2007-10-21T19:16:00.000+10:00

today's mass felt strangely touching. heh maybe it was the incredible choir today:) music really makes such a vast difference. or maybe it was just me. during the bible study the other night, one of the Fathers wanted to join us, but there was a problem with him getting down to the bible study rooms at the bottom of the slope cos he didn't have his wheelchair with him..so we ended up wheeling him backwards down the long hill (very very very carefully and slowly) on a desk chair! i think he felt quite bad about putting everyone through that, but i just thought it was quite sweet how everyone teamed up to make sure he was able to be present for the study:)

heh went for ktv yesterday..sometimes i think its actually more fun listening to other people sing than trying to sing myself..heh especially if said company can sing pretty well..and especially since i can't sing chinese songs too well (i'm struggling to read the fan ti zi half the time)..but i've got encouraging friends:) haai. i need to relearn my chinese roots.

2007-10-18T21:23:00.000+10:00

"How do we get to heaven?"
"Why don't you just wikipedia it?"

heh. little kids are just so funny:)

i'm having palpitations now! why why? :( and i've been having problems sleeping..so as i lay in bed last night, i was trying to feel my pulses. radial..brachial..carotid..dorsalis pedis..posterior tibial..haha i am such a nerd. oh well..it works better than counting sheep for me:)

i am trying to be patient. God has plans for me. so i'm waiting...

2007-10-16T20:51:00.000+10:00

my mom has come and gone..haha she came without much warning, made a mess of my room, then left again in the blink of an eye..haha much like a hurricane..i like to think of her as a force of nature:)

so its back to work again..hai i don't like to think about how much work i've got piled up over the last couple of weeks..but as Father Tony said, "we are all too blessed to be stressed". and as corny as it sounds, i think its true! its so easy to forget about the good things going for us..

hehe i got a surprise in the mail! and its just so cindy. haha even without looking at the handwriting, i think i would have known it was from you cos of the HUGE smiling face. haha. thanks thanks:) its always so nice to get mail the old-fashioned way:)

2007-10-13T01:53:00.000+10:00

Reading about the ten plagues of Egypt, i am just...wow. The old testament somehow depicts quite a different picture of God as in the new testament..i feel scared at times reading about his work..but at the same time am also in awe of Him. The ninth plague sees God sending an intense darkness over Egypt for three days..a darkness so intense that it could be felt..isn't it interesting how people usually associate the darkness with something bad or evil? maybe its cos of the notion of not visually knowing whats in front of you..its like a horror movie; a horror movie without sound and just picture is just comical, but if you close your eyes and just listen, the darkness and the sounds are unnerving..heh hmm but then again maybe thats just me.

today i met the sweetest old man:) but sadly, he probably doesn't remember me now..10 minutes after i had introduced myself to him, he asked me again who i was..and for some reason the nurses were talking really loudly just behind us and bits of their conversation carried over to us..and when the old man asked me "did the nurses just say that i have dementia?", i didn't know what to say :(

I was just given a nice bunch of chinese and piano songs:) yaaayy. sigh. i wish i could play the piano like that.

2007-10-09T23:51:00.000+10:00

tired..and the whole kitchen smells of cheese now! thanks to my mom. i tell you, she is a hazard in the kitchen. haha when i tell friends that my mom is visiting me here, their first words are often along the lines of "oh cool! you must be happy that she's here to cook for you!" haha..would you believe, in my entire 22 years, my mother has never cooked a meal for me before? quite the opposite, i've been the one doing the cooking for her here...sighs. she just asked me how to turn on the stove.

i had a rather unsettling tutorial today :( it was supposed to be a bedside tutorial for lung examination..and the poor patient obviously didn't want to be a part of the class..she was a kindly old lady..and the whole time the tutor was telling her it would just take a few minutes..but her english wasn't too good and she didn't seem to understand what we were trying to tell her, but from the squirming and mumbling and her body language it was clear she just wanted us to stop and to let her rest. i don't know why my tutor carried on like that..i felt so bad for the poor old lady..maybe there is something to this new course after all; they've been highlighting to us the entire time the uttermost importance of communication and of making the patient feel comfortable..but i wish sometimes the tutors would demonstrate that lesson to us as well. i really don't like the idea of walking up to patients and asking them if we can practice taking histories and doing physical examinations on them..but then, how else will we learn? it just feels like so much of an intrusion, and its obvious that some patients are plain irritated (and i really don't blame them), but still nice enough to agree to talk to us..though of course there are the truly nice ones who are honestly happy to help us:) i almost wanted to tell my tutor to leave the poor lady alone. but i guess i was too chicken to say anything :(

xinli: haha when i say halfway under my desk..i mean that when i sleep, my entire left side is under the desk, and the right half isn't! haha so technically, i guess i should say i have to watch out for banging the left side of my head against the desk if i sit up in bed. heh:) and i haven't done a thing to my hair! i think the colour's just fading :p

2007-10-07T01:54:00.000+10:00

Guess who's here!haha my mom has invaded my room..covering the floor and any desk/shelf space with all her stuff..and she's taken over my bed as well..haha i've been reduced to sleeping on a mattress that i had to half-shove under my desk due to the lack of space..i have to remind myself every morning not to sit up in bed to avoid banging my head straight against my desk..but whatever. i don't really mind:)

today was nice! blue mountains was nice (again) and the weather was perfect:) much to me and my sister's embarrassment, my mom was shouting into the mountain ranges in an attempt to get an echo..haha she was half tempted to start bellowing "the hills are alive! with the sound of music..."

and i just got back from dinner with the classmates..although the food was only fairly ok, it was really quite nice:) haha there was a good share of lame jokes..plus me and yx had a little wasabi-eating competition..the key is to not breathe when you swallow!:) haai. it already feel like its the holidays..although there's a good 6 weeks left to summer break :p

2007-10-04T23:31:00.000+10:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

it's difficult, isn't it? the more you love someone, the more he or she has control over your life. But the amazing thing is, love isn't simply an emotion; it's also a conscious choice we choose to make..and one that we have to work very hard at to make possible and to maintain.

hmm..a few days after, and i'm still feeling unsettled over what happened the other day :( my sister tells me its paranoia. no matter, i'm just really really thankful to God now.

sometimes i feel guilty for getting impatient, or for being angry. what right do i have? some part of me feels like its just wrong to feel this way. but again, its hard, isn't it?

2007-10-03T02:56:00.000+10:00

hello. dear cindy, i dedicate this post to you:) heh i may be a little behind in reading your blog posts, but know this - you do matter!

heh i'm always happy to hear from cindy..her emails and msn messages are filled with "whahahaha"s and all her little characteristic quirks that make me laugh out loud:) i miss her though..cos its different reading something cindy typed or hearing something cindy said compared to when she's physically next to you. she's the sort of friend you have to 'feel' and not just simply see or hear to really get to know:) and i'm really grateful for her:)

and i'm sorry to hear about feifei! :( cheer up girl.

2007-10-01T20:03:00.000+10:00

i had a horrible horrible experience today :( i was so scared..and i still am. all i can say is..thank God everything happened the way it did. There are so many ways in which things could have gone wrong. i'm still kind of shaken up about it..Thank you thank you for the way things turned out.

xinli: i've been having weird dreams too! none involving me filming anything though. heh. ayy. maybe they were some premonition or warning for what happened today :p
nadine: he was a cute fella! although he kept waving his fists in my face..haha:)

2007-09-27T02:31:00.000+10:00

happy lantern festival!

i totally forgot about mooncake festival..but gloria's sister was so nice to bring over mooncakes and lanterns from home:) hah i think the neighbourhood must have thought we were very weird..traipsing around the streets with our lanterns..people gave us funny looks as they drove past..haha but it was fun:)

back home, my mom tells me her friend dragged her to a midautumn ktv festival , where there were about 1000 old folks singing tunes from the 70s-80s in front of 2 very large karaoke screens..haha poor thing.

2007-09-25T22:41:00.000+10:00

ratatouille is so cute! (minor spoilers in this paragraph!) heh my favourite moment was when the food critic took a bite of the ratatouille and he was transported back to his childhood:) haha that was hilarious..and it made me wish i had some childhood comfort food that i could eat right now. my granddad was an amazing cook..heh he would scold my male cousins all the time, and doted on me and my sisters. sadly, he's not been around for awhile now. there's just something about old people and cooking:) probably because they had to cook everything from scratch..heh nowadays there's instant everything.

haha the other day was quite funny..my sister's friend from hongkong had joined us for church and we went to strait's kitchen (this singaporean restaurant) afterward for lunch..my sister had been craving carrot cake. so it was her friend's first time eating chicken rice and carrot cake and he was all "oh man this is fantastic..the best chicken rice ever!" and my sister was all (rather loudly) "its so-so!you can find much better in singapore." and I (noticing the boss and waiter just behind my sister giving us dirty looks) was all "err the food's not that bad here!"

and since we're on the topic of food..haha we started off the school term with a couple of lectures on diet and exercise and health..some key messages..
1. eat more avocado, olive oil and fish fish fish:)
2. don't store your vegetable oils in the cupboard for too long :p
3. juice is no good. eat your fruits!!
4. butter vs margarine? - the lecturer said to go with butter.but i'm still doubtful.

2007-09-24T20:38:00.000+10:00

Happy birthday to you.... :)

Thank you...for being the strong one, and for loving me for who i am:) was reading a friend's post about love. it really is amazing..that the people who know and accept us wholly, including all our faults and flaws, love us more than people whom we hide that ugly side from. i really don't know how i would have handled everything without you. happy birthday dear!!:)

2007-09-23T02:25:00.000+10:00

hehe i just watched stardust (please skip this if you haven't yet and you don't want to ruin it for yourself!)..its a very 'feel happy' kind of movie..although cliched and the plot was a little silly, but i personally don't mind perfect endings..not every good story has to end in tragedy..give me a fairytale ending any day:)

hmm. we met this strange fellow at coles..but i shan't go into details..just be careful of people you meet at the checkout counter at midnight!anyway, i should go to bed soon..church tmr morning:)

2007-09-22T02:49:00.000+10:00

Guess what we did!:)

hehe we had to cancel the original beach outing to cronulla cos of the rainy weather..but in the end we had fun:) there were so many tiny little kids who were spinning and jumping and whizzing about the skating rink..haha and we were just circling the sides..met this really nice young guy who gave me a few helpful tips about some neat tricks:) i can skate backwards now! heh i shall work on them.

some of the young kids there were really talented..i think its nice how they're allowed to pursue an interest so intensely at such a young age. the impression i get from singapore, is that its always studies first, and anything else is secondary. which is good in a way i guess, but then it robs many of their interests and goals and dreams. like the nice young guy who was giving us pointers..he's 17 and working and iceskates 5 days a week..and nobody thinks thats weird. oh haha and he unicycles pretty often too (i thought that was cool - never actually knew anyone who had a unicycle). but anyway, he was happy with his iceskating and unicycling:) and i bet its the same for most of the kids we saw that day at the rink..if they had been brought up in singapore, i doubt that many of them would have been given the opportunity to pursue their interest in iceskating. its not just cos singapore's small; its not like there are iceskating rinks everywhere in australia..its the perception that its not ok to do anything else other than to do well in school, move on to university and get a well-paid job.

Though it would be freaking cold, I really wanna iceskate over an actual frozen lake:)

2007-09-20T09:53:00.000+10:00

the bible study group started a study on the book of Exodus last night..i've never actually had any studies on the old Testament before. i tend to think of the old Testament as consisting of more stories (i remember when i was younger i had this big picture book with lots of colourful illustrations telling of stories from the old Testament), and a lot of it is just hard to get through by yourself. but the talk by Father John last night was good..he gave a really interesting insight and introduction to the old Testament and to the book of Exodus; heh Exodus actually means "going out"..as in reference to the Egyptians, led by Moses, leaving their city. Father John explained everything in such a descriptive and passionate manner, i could just see the parting of the Red sea in my mind:) quite excited to see how this study goes:) heh i have a sudden urge to watch Prince of Egypt again..it's not one of my favourite cartoons, but i think it paints a really nice picture of the first third of Exodus:) and i like the music from the cartoon:)

haha i was talking to this nice old man for a full couple of minutes before i realised that he was one of the Fathers leading the study; and the thing is, i've sat in on so many of his masses before, i can't believe i didn't recognise him sooner..but then i guess those colourful long capes and head pieces the Fathers wear during mass make a difference (my sister begs to defer; she says i'm just blur)..hehe he saw me running across the road from my car to the church when he stopped me and said, "that's it! stop those cars in traffic and ask them to come for bible study! good for you!"

i got to satisfy my ice cream craving yesterday:) and tonight we're having steamboat! yummy yummy:) i should be feeling tired now, considering i haven't been sleeping all that much lately. but strangely enough, i'm sort of hyper..i like these quiet mornings to myself:) maybe its God's way of giving me the time to start the day with a refreshed mind and the clarity of day:)

xinli: heh ok!:) lucas isn't scary! he's adorable:) haha he just has bad influences under the guise of his daddy..
chee: i'm doing ok!:) how are you? heh i've been paying visits to your blog too:)
ruth: i miss you too :( hehe but we'll see each other soon! and don't get too stressed with the planning k:) tell me if i can help with anything else:)
nadine: he is!:)

2007-09-19T13:02:00.000+10:00

the past 2 days have been fun:) had a few good meals, played mahjong, pitt street mall today:)

i was just browsing random folders on my computer..and i chanced upon finding neverland:) heh i think i got it from a friend and watched it awhile ago..but watching snippets of it again today reminded me how much i had liked it the first time around..johnny depp is a major draw factor:) one line that stood out to me came from mrs snow; she'd just lost her husband and it was the opening night of 'peter pan' in the theatre: "The ticking of the crocodile, like time coming after all of us eh?" so true. i'd never thought of the crocodile in that way before. its literally time chasing after us:)

so little time, so many things to do...

oh oh and adding to lucas's latest vocabulary - "Oh MAN!" hehe:) not a very baby thing to say i guess. but he sounds exactly like chris.

2007-09-18T00:04:00.000+10:00

hurrah. holidays are here!:) today was really nice. really:) after handing in our assignment, we went to newtown..i feel so deprived sometimes..haha when i think of how nerdy i am during the school term..and how i haven't been shopping since my last holidays! heh we were planning for the rest of our very short holidays..and we realise there are just not enough days to do everything we want to do..but oh well. we will make the most out of it:)

i spoke to my parents yesterday..not exactly sure why, but talking to my dad leaves me with a strange feeling. my mum's life is so happening..her next big event involves her modeling for a cheongsam fashion show, in celebration of the mooncake festival:) she got the job through a friend:) so she's attending catwalk classes and picking out her cheongsam as of this week. heh she says she probably won't ever get the chance to do this ever again, so why not? i hope i will be as adventurous as my mum when i'm her age..only i really don't think fashion shows and modeling are my thing. haha this is a promise to myself: i'll try to be adventurous in my own way:) an adventure can be anything we make out to be right? To each her own:)

i guess i knew this already, but i've only just started to understand..that my parents had this whole different life from before they had me & my sisters. i mean..i know my mum as my mum, but its hard to imagine her in her younger years, studying just as i am now. i bet if i ask my sister, she'll be able to describe her life as Before Lucas & After Lucas. i wonder..will my own children see me as someone other than their mother? that i had a whole separate life from them before?

Mandy: ok! thanks for telling me:)
Deb: haha ok maybe "noisy" isn't the word..hmm you've just got a loud voice for your size?:) eer but its not a bad thing! really! haha i miss you debs!:)
Nadine: its so bad right! can never get any work done. heh:)
Xinli: hah yay:) i've got all the seasons to date if you want to pillage them off me:)

2007-09-15T20:49:00.000+10:00

so sleepy now..hah i woke up at 5am today to send gloria to the airport..i was so blur on the way home..nearly fell asleep at the wheel :p but i must say, there is something therapeutic about driving. especially when the roads are quiet and the sun's rising in the far distance:) then i got home and tried to take a short nap before the start of day, but i think i was already in a "woken-up" state so i finally gave up and just got to work..

the dryer guy came to fix our dryer which had been making weird scary noises since the beginning of the week..haha and he extracted the culprits responsible for the scary sounds - a couple of hair pins and a bobby pin from the machinery at the back. sigh. something so small can make so much noise. heheh somehow that reminds me of debra :)

so since the dryer got fixed, i took that as an excuse to get my laundry done. haha somehow, everytime i sit down to try to get my work done, my sheets need washing, my wastepaper basket needs clearing, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, my files need to be rearranged, my phone will ring, my stomach will start grumbling, i'll feel the sudden urge to listen to a particular song, or i'll feel like i just MUST check my email at that moment. like that how...

2007-09-14T20:53:00.000+10:00

heh its mid-sem break next week:) but i've just got to get my assignment out of the way first before i can enjoy my break..

had an interesting lecture this morning..the tutor was going on and on about how we shouldn't take everything at face value, and he was teaching us his "unorthodox" methods of physical examination..and he told us that whatever he was teaching us today should not leave the room..cos if we did these things during our exams we would be failed immediately. but what he was teaching us somehow seemed so right at the time. i was wondering if it was perhaps just me..i do tend to be easily swayed. haha but i was talking to louisa afterwards and we came to the conclusion that some of his beliefs, though contrary to the popular medical thinkings, really do make much more sense. oh well. we will see in the next few years:)

its not the first i've heard of this happening, so i don't know why i felt surprised when i knew about it. but then it somehow feels closer to home this time around. maybe cos i always had this perfect picture painted in my head, but then i guess i should have known how different reality is..the thing about being unhappy..i think its ironic, but the easiest thing to do when you're unhappy is to pretend that everything is fine. its so easy to just put a smile on your face and tell people that you're alright. its hardest when you're by yourself and you're forced to think about everything.

but then, even the most wonderful of things need change right? its like music. maybe you can hold on to a musical note forever, but then it wouldn't sound like much by itself. its the change in musical notes and dynamics that bring about that incredible thing we call music:)

2007-09-11T20:30:00.000+10:00

as i was drifting off to sleep the other night, i suddenly thought it sounded like it was pouring outside..and for a nice little moment, i felt like i was back in singapore, when i would be lying in bed during a heavy rain. (i really like those night showers in singapore) heh then i realised that it couldn't be..and it turned out to be LM in the shower..haha:)

read this on a friend's blog:
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
- CS Lewis

it got through to me..cos i've always held back from certain things..with the idea that to love means to subject yourself to more hurt. but CS Lewis makes sense doesn't he.

2007-09-08T14:07:00.000+10:00

some stories from home which cracked me up:)

my mom had woken up from a nap, just had a bath, walked out toward the kitchen then WHAM! - she walked right into the closed, transparent kitchen glass door, going "huh? what's that hah?" while groggily rubbing her forehead which had suffered the brunt of the impact. hah ok i know this had the potential to be a much more dangerous accident but all's ok. and my mum is just so blur!

next story. my sister was driving while my mom was amusing lucas in the backseat of the car:) haha my mom was practicing for her next choir concert so she was singing, of all tunes, the "kiss the girl" tune that sebastian the crab (haha or the lobster...i never could tell) sung in the little mermaid..she kept on going "shalalalalala my oh my..kiss the girl!" like many many MANY times...haha when suddenly lucas said "Enuf." haha! my poor mum! and lucas is so smart:)

so now when my sister asks him "so what was that song that popo was singing?" he goes "shalalalalala...shalalalalala..."

i miss my sister! and my mum. and lucas too:) shalalalalala my oh my...

yahui: yes it got stolen in singapore! from my sister's hdb parking lot :p the guy probably broke the window and hotwired it...
cindy: haha you never look unglam to me! heh funny ma. yep wish i could have been there with you guys that day! i had such apt timing right:)

2007-09-07T02:36:00.000+10:00

i had a terrible terrible dream last night, and i woke up frantic :( it was awful. but then reality calmed me down.

been thinking about some things..if i didn't have to work on my assignment, or if the weather was warmer today, i might have gone for a walk. walking helps me to think. isn't it funny how you can effortlessly talk to some people and you just can't to others? its like some lock and key theory. both the lock and key have to be correct for both sides to work, or for the conversation to flow. sometimes i try (really i do) to think of intelligent things to say, but nothing comes. and then with other people i don't even have to stop and think:) i thank God for these people:)

today was a strange day. i pray for wisdom and strength to get through life.

2007-09-05T22:08:00.001+10:00

hello?? anybody there? my name is cindy...

i like squid!

and big apples:)

haha ok that was random.
hehe happy birthday cindy!!! :) don't kill me for putting up these pics:)

xinli: yes! it was both gorgeous and delicious:)
ning: heh its louisa's! not sure if you know her. but she's from rj:) the girl in red in the photo.
mandy: hello mandy! i liked them too:)

2007-09-05T00:01:00.000+10:00

happy birthday mio!:)

Think this is the first 21st birthday cake i've seen with actually 21 candles on it:) and it was really yummy too:)

heh it felt quite nostalgic to see everyone sitting together in the same room again..think this is the first time since we all stayed at creston that we had all met up together:) from mythili's crazy antics to krishna's comedic mannerisms..haha it was really fun:) and i was talking to fenfen..we met in college when i was in year1 and she was in year2...and next year we'll be year4 & 5! goodness.

today was good. i learnt stuff from the nice doctors at the rehab clinic, i got abit of my assignment done, i baked bread:) haha well i tried to anyway:) i couldn't quite recall exactly what my sister had taught me..but it came out ok i guess. i should have waited for the bread to rise more before popping it in the oven, haha but i was getting antsy, plus i had to leave for class. heh i should learn to be more patient.

the paediatric rehab clinic is a sad place :( there are lots of kids there in really bad shape..although of course its sad to see anyone bedridden, but i think it feels more upsetting to see kids that way, because children are supposed to be the lively ones...

xinli: heh yea its cool right. :) heh hmm this might be random. but do you remember the whole silly psychic with a watermelon/basketball issue you and cindy made fun of me back in rgs? haha. ok maybe i got that wrong. it sounds even more ridiculous now.
ruth: haha yes it was queen of the damned! silly movie. haha:) yea but he was so scared! we were both quite freaked out that day when i was talking to him too. hehe.
yahui: hello yahui!:) heh that's a nice idea...that we're all connected:)

2007-09-02T20:20:00.000+10:00

I was just sitting in at my desk, listening to some recordings of songs played in RJ band..then I heard this oboe solo part, and thought of shanon, and suddenly wondered how he was doing in the US..then an msn message box pops up on my computer screen, and guess who - its shanon!:) haha and he tells me that he just woke up from a horrible nightmare, and his first thought when he woke up was a horror story i once wrote waaay back in primary school, when we were together in a creative writing class. its weird, but he & i both managed to recall the story in detail, although i wrote it what..11years ago?? haha he was quite freaked (he's always been so scared of horror movies/stories, haha probably even more so than me) but i couldn't spend too long talking to him, since he had to go off for class..

and then i got to thinking about class times in RJ with ruth, amelia, michelle, phinpeng, shanon..& i suddenly felt like asking phinpeng how his knee surgery went..heh then i check my inbox and i realise he just sent me an email:)

then i wonder if maybe thought waves can somehow reach a person if you try hard enough:) heh. its a nice idea that someone you care about is thinking about you at the same time:)

2007-09-01T12:04:00.000+10:00

I missed an old friend all of a sudden the other day. once upon a time, we made each other laugh, we shared thoughts, we told each other our problems, thats what friends do right? but things are so different now..you may feel particularly close to someone at a place in time, & then it fades..but memories never really disappear, they just fade into the background and come back to you at the oddest of times.

but then its funny. how with some people you rarely see, it just feels so right everytime you do talk, as if you're just picking up from the last time you talked to one another :) its just sad sometimes to think of how close you once were to someone, and now because of time/circumstances, its not like you're no longer good friends, but things are just different now.

so i'm feeling better now after all that sleep. though my voice still sounds abit froggy. gotta get some work done now...

debs: debra! heh so sweet of you:) thanks dear!
kian: check your email!
nad: heh. i did:)
xinli: no worries girl..take your time:) hey hope you feel better soon too!
nic: thanks i'm feeling much better now! haha yes i GOT it. hehe :)

2007-08-30T13:30:00.000+10:00

I'm at home this morning nursing my flu..plus my infectious status isn't too good for the little babies at the hospital. :( sigh wanted to sleep more but then my blocked nose made it hard :( the tutors at the hospital have been robbing me of my sleep...making us wake up for 8am classes for the last 2 mornings and then canceling on us at the last minute.

I had a productive weekend :) not in the homework sense but in that I bought a new shelf for my room! I got tired of having to try to stuff notes and books into the few already full shelves that I had. so things are much neater now, plus i've got a couple extra shelf spaces for displaying some photos:)

headache now :( think I'm going to lie down....

2007-08-29T01:35:00.000+10:00

I'm sick :( as in feverish, flu-ish & a sore throat...help :( I'm just going to bed & praying I wake up feeling alot less lousy.

2007-08-24T01:23:00.000+10:00

in a mixed mood now..i'm somehow feeling tired, sick but contented at the same time.

my sister received a parking fine from her stolen car this week..so the police found the car abandoned at a HDB carpark where the fine has been issued. The car was completely empty (the baby seat, cds, the little hanging cross, insurance papers were all taken) plus the fuel cap was gone and there wasn't a single drop of petrol left. so sad :( why does the thief have to take even little personal things like the stuffed toy smiling sun that would dangle in front of lucas's seat, or the cross hanging from the mirror? i doubt these things would have benefited him/her in the least..its just like how if someone had stolen my wallet, i would be most upset by losing my IC, the little card from ruth, the photo of me and my sisters. personal things that matter most to us often don't cost alot, but they mean so much more in terms of sentimental value..

haha i remember how we would exchange the silliest little gifts before every band concert or competition. like for reunion, the juniors sewed us these long blue things filled with pillow stuffing which were completely useless, but it obviously took so much time to make them:) then there were the mini dustbins, the mahjong tiles, the photo collages:) then there were the many many innovative ways people wrote cards and messages..i remember hiuchee's cards were always the most meticulous:) all these cards and gifts currently reside in a huge box stuffed inside my cupboard in my room back in singapore..and i know everytime i sort through all the paraphernalia, i can't help smiling..cos although all of these things may be essentially rubbish to another person, they hold so much more in terms of memories and images for me:) i miss band :( among other things.

2007-08-21T22:05:00.000+10:00

day 2 of paediatrics..i like:) i'm pretty surprised so far that most of the young patients i've seen this week have been so guai..all the little babies seem relatively comfortable with letting us medical students poke and examine them..and the younger kids are so sweet:) even this little baby girl who had a battery down her throat was smiling and babbling at us although i imagine it can't be very comfortable having a battery stuck in your windpipe.

on the flip side, there have been scarier moments..sigh. you never really realise how lucky you are to be born healthy. there are all these poor kids with congenital abnormalities, and its usually not anyone's fault at all. and i like this question my tutor posed: "What percentage of parents would donate their own kidney to their child if they could? 100%." parents (most parents anyway) really would do anything for their children. i can't imagine what i would do or feel if i was a parent and my child had a stroke. or if my baby started seizing.

so anyway, its really been an interesting couple of days, though i've been feeling a little under the weather this week :( maybe its just that time of the month.

i had a really really good dream last night..and it was so real. i think to an extent, it was so good that i wanted so hard to believe that it was real. and then when i woke up, i just felt so lousy. cos real life didn't play out as in the dream; if anything, real life is the complete opposite of what happened in that dream. why does my own silly brain have to keep reminding me of what i've lost?

2007-08-19T04:06:00.000+10:00

ay..so the catching-up-on-sleep plan isn't working out too well..i just got back from louisa's..nice night of catching up with the girls:) so i'm hyped up on caffeine and sugar now..and i've gotta wake up for church in..6 hours?

hmm. it bothers me how i just spent money on a car when others are scrimping and working to earn money just so they can pay for their daily living. or how i get annoyed over a pregnant woman avoiding us when friends have bigger problems :( and maybe instead of sitting around being frustrated over lesser things, i should do something.

i spoke to my mom today:) and hearing her voice makes me realize how much i miss her :( and although left unspoken, i hope she knows :p

2007-08-18T01:49:00.000+10:00

Well alot of today felt like quite a waste of time :( morning lecture got postponed (after we had spent half the time waiting for the lecturer) and our interview with the pregnant lady got postponed (several times)...hmm. actually, just listing out these things doesn't make it seem like that much of time wasted:) although I was rather annoyed at the time :p i mean, i can understand that its pretty much a full-time job taking care of a newborn child, but then if you can't make it at a certain time, why agree to it in the first place? postponing once I can understand, twice is abit rude, three times is annoying, four times is just GAARH. :(

and I thought perhaps it was just me at first, but my group mates are pretty frustrated as well. Not just at the pregnant lady, but at the university, for coming up with this silly assignment, in which we're attached to this lady who doesn't seem all that willing to be a part of all this. I mean, its nice of these women to agree to be a part of the project, but then if you don't want to do it, then don't agree to do it in the first place! would save us all a whole lot of trouble. sigh sigh. ok relax. i suppose from their point of view, they probably didn't realise exactly what they were signing on for when the university cajoled them into participating in the project.

anyway....on the bright side, its the weekend!i like fridays:) first thing on the list of to-dos for the weekend, catching up on my sleep...

2007-08-15T22:27:00.000+10:00

I don't like it when people don't keep their promises :( but I like to believe that people who don't stick to their promises don't believe that they are actually eventually going to end up not keeping their word. or maybe they forgot.

had some loooong lectures today..even the 2 cups of coffee I drank did little to help keep me awake. and people who know how sensitive i am to caffeine really know the significance of that statement. the tutorial today was abit stressful..i can't help feeling like the tutor is expecting us to know more than what we seem to know. maybe its just me. hah and i think i was just really lucky that the only questions i had answers to were the ones she directed at me. :) or perhaps i just am able to think with more clarity under some form of stress? hmm.

i just had dinner..but still hungry..why why?

lionel: obstetrics and gynaecology!
nic: yep i will:) i just feel lost at times :(
xinli: heh. but how do we know is the right thing to do? so many choices. and thanks thanks for the thoughtful gift dear:) haha i spent some time wondering how to put it on!

2007-08-13T22:04:00.000+10:00

waiting. it's about getting ready, and getting yourself prepared for that moment when you can stop waiting. unfortunately, patience has never really been one of my best qualities.

I think I'm the kind of person to have to put in alot of effort to get the same result as others. I don't think I'm smart, but I try to work hard. though I know I shouldn't compare, I know I shouldn't complain, I just can't help thinking that its gonna be like this for the rest of my life..of course life includes working hard, but some people just seem to get things done so much more easily and with less effort. and it may be easy to say its not about the final result, its about the journey there, but in the end the endpoint does count. maybe its just the expectations I put on myself, of the expectations I feel that others put on me.

i was just daydreaming. if I could maybe just not study, if I could just go back to singapore, if I could just play piano and percussion all day, if I could just be more talented at the things that I do, if I could be more talented at writing, if I could somehow write a novel expressing my thoughts, if I could one day write God's word. You have no idea how much I admire all those good writers, of both song and word. but oh well, I suppose that will have to wait awhile..maybe after I've gained more life experience. experience. friends keep telling me they're feeling old, that we're getting old..but in terms of life experience, we still have so much more to do, to see! I think its ironic how many people of my age I know who feel hemmed in and feel trapped, when we are all still so young of experience and there is just so much more to do.

I wish I could somehow channel my thoughts into writing a piece of music that everyone would somehow understand the thoughts that I was trying to convey. I wish I could find one thing that I really love doing, that I am really good at, that I could do right now. sigh. who knows. perhaps one day God will give me the clarity and ideas to do these things. maybe when I'm older, or maybe in heaven? maybe I'm imagining too much right now. when I should be doing some work...

2007-08-11T01:54:00.000+10:00

My elder sister says I should end each day thinking of the good things that happened that day, no matter how small or insignificant each event may seem. So for today, I am thankful that..

1. I found a good parking lot at the hospital:) It usually takes us about 10min to find a legitimate parking space. today we almost immediately got an all-day spot.
2. Afternoon lectures ended an hour early:) plus we got an extended lunch break..I spent it just talking and lazing around the LT.
3. olivia lent me her CMT notes to read! cos I was blur enough to forget to bring the notes I had especially woken up early that day to print out. bah.
3. I got a really sweet care package from xinli! heh with very a nice bracelet (all the way from turkey) and note:) thanks so much dear:)
4. I had a nice little chat with my sister:) I'm glad that in the midst of our busy lives, we still make time for one another.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

2007-08-08T10:13:00.000+10:00

I've been a little out of sorts this week..But this week was also fun. :) I realise every year all over again how many august babies I know. Heh there really are alot of birthdays in august. I suppose parents were busy during the christmas hols:)

Its so nice to always have someone there for you:) I just get so tired of superficial conversation sometimes..at times I just feel like curling up under my covers, and not talking. Its hard to find someone you can talk to, and harder to find someone you feel comfortable not talking to, someone you can just sit with in companiable silence.

but it occurs to me that as much as I complain, I'm not a very good friend at times too :( I've never been one to share everything about myself to other people..and I sometimes feel bad because the other person seems to be sharing alot more with me than I am with him/her. Maybe its the way I was brought up or the experiences that I've had, but I seem to have built this wall around me, one that only a select few seem to be able to get through. So to my friends reading this, I really am thankful to have you in my life, even if I don't show it at times.

sigh. what a weird post. I told you I was feeling out of sorts. Maybe I just need sleep. I really don't feel like going for class today :(

2007-08-06T21:37:00.000+10:00

here's my way of putting up the flag for national day!:)

I really miss him. But he said hello to me on the phone today! and my sister says he's been asking for me:) she told him I was "gone in an aeroplane". So now when she asks him where I am, he points upwards towards the sky. Haha which isn't entirely accurate but still very cute:)

So this is the third week of this new course..I'm definitely enjoying it more than my last course:) though everything still seems somewhat disorganised..have seen some interesting patients on the wards, and I've seen some moody moms too (we're doing O&G now)..but overall its been good:)

My weekend was fun:) stopped by maroubra beach yesterday..the sun was shining and the sky was oh so blue:) spent some time watching the surfers attempting to ride the waves..was quite interesting to see so many of them lined up in the ocean, then they would all attempt to catch an incoming wave, but in the end only one or two persistant surfers rode all the way inland..but it was cool to see them trying, and I think it looks really hard.

I was kinda surprised when my sister told me that her car got stolen. As in, she left it parked at her HDB block and it was just gone when she returned the next day :( I guess I knew this sort of thing happened but I was just surprised. I'm more paranoid now about locking up the car whenever I park it :p well, her car was getting old (almost 17yrs old) and she was getting a new one anyway..during the holidays, I remember hearing this scary thunking noise from the left back tire..told my sister about it but she said she was gonna get a new car soon..maybe her car getting stolen was God's way of saying "your car's getting too dangerous to drive around!" still. its irritating and sad to have your car (or anything else) taken away from you :(

2007-07-30T22:30:00.000+10:00

Some photos from the holidays:)

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that ar critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

2007-07-27T02:38:00.000+10:00

tired..think I haven't quite caught up with my lost sleep from the plane ride..heh no thanks to harry potter..but all's good. other than falling asleep in classes..

I've had a couple of scary teachers so far this semester..haha we started off with this really intense lecturer who was all for infection control..she spent good time drilling into us the importance of washing our hands and how proper washing techniques would save our lives and our patients..she then started passing alcohol desanitizers around the lecture theatre and urging us to clean our hands the proper way..haha I guess her ultimate message got through to us.."Washing your hands will SAVE YOUR LIFE."

Then today's tutor was really anal about punctuality and respecting the formality of class. Thank goodness I made in on time..After I had signed in and taken my seat, he started going on about how he would in the future throw out any student more than 5minutes late..and then he reprimanded a couple of girls for drinking water! saying that class is not a picnic. then at this moment some students started streaming in behind him late..one of them even wielding an ice-cream; another slurping a huge soft drink! I was so scared for them :p I am gonna bold this tutor's name in any of my future classes...I'm too scared to be late :(

scary tutors aside..clinics and tuts have been interesting..had early pregnancy clinic this morning at 730..and ended the day in the delivery suite at 8pm!I didn't get to see any deliveries..but I did get to see many speculums and ultrasounds:) and it was sad cos most of the women coming into the early pregnancy clinic are referred to us cos they're suspected of having miscarriages..I think being told that you've just miscarriaged is one of the worse things you have to hear :(

anyway..feeling sleeping now but I think I'm still high on sugar..just had ice cream with my sister then a late-night beach outing:) used to go there alot more often..but less so in the last year..I suddenly remember how pretty the sky there looks at night..

2007-07-24T01:08:00.000+10:00

Its been an amazing 2+ weeks:) so many things I wanted to write about but I didn't really have time to sit down and blog:) heh so I've gone home and come back..saw many people and had a lot of fun..now that I'm back here its almost surreal..

heh the thing on my mind now - harry potter! the last book was just amazing. I was so excited to open the book once I got my hands on it..hah unfortunately it came out the day I flew off..so I was busy with last minute meetings and packing and I only got my first peek at the first page on the plane..haha everyone else was sleeeping (it was a night flight) and I was the only one in my vicinity with the light on...

I really loved this last book:) was really sad after I finished it..cos there are many sad elements in the book, and also cos its the end of the series! oh well. all good things have to come to an end..and I don't believe she could have come up with a more perfect ending to the series..

ok so harry potter aside..it was really really good to be back home! heh lucas has changed so much..he's running around and talking so much more..and he's just so much more human now:) plus he's getting naughty. haha he takes after chris I guess:)

sigh and it was so hard to drag myself out of bed this morning..what with the time difference plus my sleepless night on the plane..haha but classes this semester have started off more promising than the last..at least the university seems much more organised this time around:) and I'm kind of looking forward to some of my classes:) sorry I've left out so many details of my time back home...I'll update more next time! gonna bathe now:) sleepy.

2007-07-01T04:07:00.000+10:00

whoopee..I'll be going home in less than a week:)

exciting news...I've gotten my car! heh. its small, green, a little old, but it makes me happy:) heh drove my sister to the airport (& sent her off :( ) , then drove to glebe for brunch and shopping, then to dinner and hot chocolate and the beach at night:) hah but sorry to ling & louisa for the bumpy drive..think I freaked them out a little bit with some of my blind turns :p the roads here are alot darker at night..plus there was the scary drunk guy who slammed his fists on the back of my car as he walked past. :/

its weird..in singapore, I think my car would be considered a relic...most cars on the roads are still shiny and new..while here, its not uncommon to own cars more than 10yrs old..although cars are so much cheaper here..hmm think its also probably more of a status thing in singapore..big cars equal I have money? oh well. as long as it can get me to places, I'm happy:)

this week also marked the end of my first clinical attachment. said bye to my tutors on thursday..they've really been so great:) it was quite an experience..I really did learn a lot from the 2 of them..and it's scary but also motivating to think that I might hopefully be as good as they are at their jobs sometime in my future:)

2007-06-21T19:54:00.000+10:00

yummy. I like chocolate.

Haha this lady offered us home-made cookies when we went to visit her..my tutor was shaking her head at me behind her back..she told me later that the little old lady and her son had a marijuana history...her son used to sprinkle marijuana into her cornflakes :p her cookies might have had some special ingredients..

So I think most people know this, but I'll just say it again..do not accept any form of food from a patient. (unless its nicely wrapped up in packaging) there was an incident where a patient offered peanuts to a nurse, and it turned out that those peanuts were originally peanuts in m&ms :( he had actually licked the m&ms clean of the chocolate bits, leaving the peanuts. bleah.

ok dinnertime now..think I'm stearing clear of peanuts for awhile..

olivia: haha we learnt the short-form of it in class! pneumo-silicosis. it apparantly originated long ago in areas with volcanoes. or something like that.
xinli: yea I was pretty amazed when I first heard of it.. :)

2007-06-18T20:36:00.000+10:00

here's a view from my window (if you're focusing on one of the little ornaments sitting on my windowsill) :) I've been playing with my sister's camera...its so cool..I'm gonna get one of these EOS cameras for myself next time:)

I was just on the phone with my grandma:) I really wish I could speak more cantonese..not just because it sounds nice, but also cos then I'd be able to carry out a proper conversation with her :p visiting all these old patients at the hospital and at their homes reminds me more of her..and seeing so many sick old people makes me feel like I should be spending more time with her now:(

anyway, some interesting things I learnt in the last week.
1. the longest word in the english dictionary - pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. its an occupational lung disease. try saying that really fast 10 times in a row.
2. situs inversus - a condition where you're born with all your internal organs on the opposite side of where they're supposed to be. so the patient's heart is on his right and his liver's on his left :p

hmm. It's frustrating sometimes..then again it always has been..since young..I try to understand, I really do. you just pretend like nothing's wrong, and then you end up making me feel like its my fault :( sigh. maybe it is.

2007-06-13T19:59:00.000+10:00

another cold windy day to be out :p the only thing I like about winter is snow! and the sad thing is it doesn't even get cold enough for there to be snow here. so winter in sydney is winter without the nice part :(

And I found out today that my tutor is so young! she's only 5yrs older than me. And she plays the drums too:) I noticed her tapping away to the music in the car:) heh we had a nice discussion about how much we missed playing:) and she can play 9 instruments fluently..wow:) I picked up my sticks the other day and my fingers are so clumsy now :( oh well.

and something weird..there's a new pole in the neighbourhood! ok lm first noticed it. But its really bizzare..its just in the middle of the road and doesn't seem to serve any purpose..but we both don't remember seeing it there before and we walk along that road practically everyday. Its just a new lone tall pole on the side of the road. but weird things seem to happen on our road..this other time we spotted a computer mouse dangling over one of the tall electrical lines..no idea how or why it was all the way up there. its almost impossible to throw it up that high..unless the mouse fell from the sky..then there's the stuffed toy koala bear thats sitting up in the tree..its just weird.