germy.

Monday, August 13, 2007

waiting. it's about getting ready, and getting yourself prepared for that moment when you can stop waiting. unfortunately, patience has never really been one of my best qualities.

I think I'm the kind of person to have to put in alot of effort to get the same result as others. I don't think I'm smart, but I try to work hard. though I know I shouldn't compare, I know I shouldn't complain, I just can't help thinking that its gonna be like this for the rest of my life..of course life includes working hard, but some people just seem to get things done so much more easily and with less effort. and it may be easy to say its not about the final result, its about the journey there, but in the end the endpoint does count. maybe its just the expectations I put on myself, of the expectations I feel that others put on me.

i was just daydreaming. if I could maybe just not study, if I could just go back to singapore, if I could just play piano and percussion all day, if I could just be more talented at the things that I do, if I could be more talented at writing, if I could somehow write a novel expressing my thoughts, if I could one day write God's word. You have no idea how much I admire all those good writers, of both song and word. but oh well, I suppose that will have to wait awhile..maybe after I've gained more life experience. experience. friends keep telling me they're feeling old, that we're getting old..but in terms of life experience, we still have so much more to do, to see! I think its ironic how many people of my age I know who feel hemmed in and feel trapped, when we are all still so young of experience and there is just so much more to do.

I wish I could somehow channel my thoughts into writing a piece of music that everyone would somehow understand the thoughts that I was trying to convey. I wish I could find one thing that I really love doing, that I am really good at, that I could do right now. sigh. who knows. perhaps one day God will give me the clarity and ideas to do these things. maybe when I'm older, or maybe in heaven? maybe I'm imagining too much right now. when I should be doing some work...

~me~ at 10:04 PM

my search for verve

Monday, August 13, 2007 waiting. it's about getting ready, and getting yourself prepared for that moment when you can stop waiting. unfortunately, patience has never really been one of my best qualities. I think I'm the kind of person to have to put in alot of effort to get the same result as others. I don't think I'm smart, but I try to work hard. though I know I shouldn't compare, I know I shouldn't complain, I just can't help thinking that its gonna be like this for the rest of my life..of course life includes working hard, but some people just seem to get things done so much more easily and with less effort. and it may be easy to say its not about the final result, its about the journey there, but in the end the endpoint does count. maybe its just the expectations I put on myself, of the expectations I feel that others put on me. i was just daydreaming. if I could maybe just not study, if I could just go back to singapore, if I could just play piano and percussion all day, if I could just be more talented at the things that I do, if I could be more talented at writing, if I could somehow write a novel expressing my thoughts, if I could one day write God's word. You have no idea how much I admire all those good writers, of both song and word. but oh well, I suppose that will have to wait awhile..maybe after I've gained more life experience. experience. friends keep telling me they're feeling old, that we're getting old..but in terms of life experience, we still have so much more to do, to see! I think its ironic how many people of my age I know who feel hemmed in and feel trapped, when we are all still so young of experience and there is just so much more to do. I wish I could somehow channel my thoughts into writing a piece of music that everyone would somehow understand the thoughts that I was trying to convey. I wish I could find one thing that I really love doing, that I am really good at, that I could do right now. sigh. who knows. perhaps one day God will give me the clarity and ideas to do these things. maybe when I'm older, or maybe in heaven? maybe I'm imagining too much right now. when I should be doing some work... ~me~ at 10:04 PM
design by may