germy.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

its been awhile..the last 2 weeks have been interesting:) my irish tutor is amazing..he's just so good at his job and is pretty inspirational. He seems to make it all seem so easy, but at the same time I don't know how he does everything that he does..hah his accent makes it hard to understand what he's saying at times..but I like irish accents:)

another thing I've realised over the last couple of weeks..old people in australia are just so independant. like today, I made a home visit to an 80-yr-old greek little old lady who drives around in her little blue car and stays alone in her immaculate clean little house by the beach:) although she has a serious heart condition, she's still staying by herself, cleaning up after herself, buying groceries for herself..and its not just her. about 80% of the patients I've been seeing are elderly and live by themselves, and they're just so proud of their independence..but then. I was thinking..is it really possible to be happy by yourself? sure independence is great..but then how can anyone feel happy staying in the same house by yourself for weeks, without any other human interaction?

I don't believe man was made to be alone...but I do feel that I've grown to be more of a loner these last couple of years..in that I'm not that unhappy being by myself, and I've learnt to appreciate alone time. still, we all need companionship, and people to talk to right? perhaps I'll think differently when I'm a little old lady who's lived a long satisfying life.

oh yes and pirates 3 wasn't bad:) I prefered the first 2 but this was still entertaining..I guess anything with johnny depp wouldn't be all bad:)

~me~ at 10:13 PM

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sometimes we expect things to turn out a certain way..and when things don't go exactly as planned, I can't help feeling..somehow disappointed. I was just thinking..that in the past I wouldn't have allowed myself to feel this way; I wouldn't have allowed myself to have such high expectations, & I would have told myself to just think positive & hope for the best. But somehow I've changed..& I feel somehow sad now :(

~me~ at 1:54 AM

Monday, May 14, 2007

happy mother's day mum:)

Hah I think my mom looks even younger now with her current haircut:) hopefully I got her genes for retaining youthful looks:) and lucas's current haircut is the result of my sister's first attempt at cutting his hair. haha poor boy. (sorry, no offense jeh :) ) oh well. he looks cute in a boyish way:) and I think my sister's efforts were alot better compared to my mum's..my mum used to cut my hair when I was younger. hah I remember I would feel like running away whenever I saw her whip out THE scissors. but I still love her for it:)

I think the family just gets more weapy and emotional as we all get older. is that normal? its not a bad thing I suppose:) we don't often say these words out loud, and I guess occasions like these just give us the chance to speak more freely.

~me~ at 2:52 AM

And just like that, the holidays are over :( but it was fun:)

Today's mass felt special:) I actually got goosebumps when the father and the choir made their way down the church aisle as we sang the processional hymn:) there wasn't anything extra special that was done today, anything done out of the ordinary from other sundays for me, but it just felt special. maybe it was because of the week I just had, maybe it was because of the last few weeks spent with my sister here, maybe it was because of the last couple of months spent mugging 24/7, maybe it was because of the last year I've spent trying to figure things out. I don't know, but it was nice:)

Ever notice how fast the sun actually rises? these were taken in the span of a few minutes:)

no sun yet. but we're waiting:)

just a hint of sun:)

about halfway out.

almost there....

and now its up so high its hidden in the clouds:) and it all happens in just a few minutes:) something so pretty happens every morning! and that day was the first time in my 22 years I actually saw the sun rising over the horizon. beautiful things happen everyday, but they often just pass us by. I wonder, how come when it just rises it doesn't hurt to look at it..but then as it gets higher, it just gets so bright we can barely stand to look at it directly?

~me~ at 12:00 AM

Sunday, May 06, 2007

nice weekend:) I've almost forgotten how nice st mary's cathedral looks and feels..I still remember the first time I ever entered the church..I was just in awe of the high ceiling and tall pillars, and also at the feeling of simple serenity contained in the church..very nice:) pity there was no music today though :(

had a pretty piggish day..a tall stack of pancakes for brunch, gelato in the afternoon..my stomach felt weird after that. haha but better again after dinner. but it was fun!and nice going around sydney with my sister..its nice to actually show her everything I've told her about I guess:) words are never the same as actually seeing things for yourself:)

sometimes it just feels stifling..how I can't really be myself..how I feel like I have to contain what I really want to say at times..how I feel like I just don't belong. but then..perhaps its just me? I think I ask for too much.

~me~ at 8:10 PM

Saturday, May 05, 2007

ok. it has been awhile! now I'm just relieved that exams are FINALLY over:) only thing I wish was that we had more than a week's break before we start clinicals..but I really shouldn't ask for to much:) I'm just so glad its over! things to do..clean my room, play my piano, catch up with some people I haven't seen in awhile, watch heroes/house/grey's/LM's anime collection/lost, bring my sister around:)

~me~ at 11:23 AM

my search for verve

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 its been awhile..the last 2 weeks have been interesting:) my irish tutor is amazing..he's just so good at his job and is pretty inspirational. He seems to make it all seem so easy, but at the same time I don't know how he does everything that he does..hah his accent makes it hard to understand what he's saying at times..but I like irish accents:) another thing I've realised over the last couple of weeks..old people in australia are just so independant. like today, I made a home visit to an 80-yr-old greek little old lady who drives around in her little blue car and stays alone in her immaculate clean little house by the beach:) although she has a serious heart condition, she's still staying by herself, cleaning up after herself, buying groceries for herself..and its not just her. about 80% of the patients I've been seeing are elderly and live by themselves, and they're just so proud of their independence..but then. I was thinking..is it really possible to be happy by yourself? sure independence is great..but then how can anyone feel happy staying in the same house by yourself for weeks, without any other human interaction? I don't believe man was made to be alone...but I do feel that I've grown to be more of a loner these last couple of years..in that I'm not that unhappy being by myself, and I've learnt to appreciate alone time. still, we all need companionship, and people to talk to right? perhaps I'll think differently when I'm a little old lady who's lived a long satisfying life. oh yes and pirates 3 wasn't bad:) I prefered the first 2 but this was still entertaining..I guess anything with johnny depp wouldn't be all bad:) ~me~ at 10:13 PM Saturday, May 19, 2007 Sometimes we expect things to turn out a certain way..and when things don't go exactly as planned, I can't help feeling..somehow disappointed. I was just thinking..that in the past I wouldn't have allowed myself to feel this way; I wouldn't have allowed myself to have such high expectations, & I would have told myself to just think positive & hope for the best. But somehow I've changed..& I feel somehow sad now :( ~me~ at 1:54 AM Monday, May 14, 2007 happy mother's day mum:) Hah I think my mom looks even younger now with her current haircut:) hopefully I got her genes for retaining youthful looks:) and lucas's current haircut is the result of my sister's first attempt at cutting his hair. haha poor boy. (sorry, no offense jeh :) ) oh well. he looks cute in a boyish way:) and I think my sister's efforts were alot better compared to my mum's..my mum used to cut my hair when I was younger. hah I remember I would feel like running away whenever I saw her whip out THE scissors. but I still love her for it:) I think the family just gets more weapy and emotional as we all get older. is that normal? its not a bad thing I suppose:) we don't often say these words out loud, and I guess occasions like these just give us the chance to speak more freely. ~me~ at 2:52 AM And just like that, the holidays are over :( but it was fun:) Today's mass felt special:) I actually got goosebumps when the father and the choir made their way down the church aisle as we sang the processional hymn:) there wasn't anything extra special that was done today, anything done out of the ordinary from other sundays for me, but it just felt special. maybe it was because of the week I just had, maybe it was because of the last few weeks spent with my sister here, maybe it was because of the last couple of months spent mugging 24/7, maybe it was because of the last year I've spent trying to figure things out. I don't know, but it was nice:) Ever notice how fast the sun actually rises? these were taken in the span of a few minutes:) no sun yet. but we're waiting:) just a hint of sun:) about halfway out. almost there.... and now its up so high its hidden in the clouds:) and it all happens in just a few minutes:) something so pretty happens every morning! and that day was the first time in my 22 years I actually saw the sun rising over the horizon. beautiful things happen everyday, but they often just pass us by. I wonder, how come when it just rises it doesn't hurt to look at it..but then as it gets higher, it just gets so bright we can barely stand to look at it directly? ~me~ at 12:00 AM Sunday, May 06, 2007 nice weekend:) I've almost forgotten how nice st mary's cathedral looks and feels..I still remember the first time I ever entered the church..I was just in awe of the high ceiling and tall pillars, and also at the feeling of simple serenity contained in the church..very nice:) pity there was no music today though :( had a pretty piggish day..a tall stack of pancakes for brunch, gelato in the afternoon..my stomach felt weird after that. haha but better again after dinner. but it was fun!and nice going around sydney with my sister..its nice to actually show her everything I've told her about I guess:) words are never the same as actually seeing things for yourself:) sometimes it just feels stifling..how I can't really be myself..how I feel like I have to contain what I really want to say at times..how I feel like I just don't belong. but then..perhaps its just me? I think I ask for too much. ~me~ at 8:10 PM Saturday, May 05, 2007 ok. it has been awhile! now I'm just relieved that exams are FINALLY over:) only thing I wish was that we had more than a week's break before we start clinicals..but I really shouldn't ask for to much:) I'm just so glad its over! things to do..clean my room, play my piano, catch up with some people I haven't seen in awhile, watch heroes/house/grey's/LM's anime collection/lost, bring my sister around:) ~me~ at 11:23 AM
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