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Friday, April 06, 2007

I had another weird dream last night! but I won't go into detail. It just makes me think about what I am really pursuing in life.

I recall, when I was younger, I actually used to picture myself being a housewife, and my husband would be a farmer, and we'd lead a quiet life in the countryside, with animals & greenery & none of the big city complications. but then, I soon realised maybe that was just a dream-like interpretation of a plain but peaceful life.

Somehow, when I think of my future now, I just think work. which might not entirely be a bad thing, but its such a different view from what I thought as a kid. I know as kids, we might have many ambitions, often unattainable & simply a stretch of our imaginations, but there's a reason why we might wish to be pilots, teachers etc. there must be some attractive element of that kind of life that makes us wish for it?

I think if society did not pressure us to pursue more, perhaps I would have stopped at just living my simple life, in the company of family & friends. Not that I regret coming here to do med; I know I want to be a good doctor, but I also want to be a good wife, a good mother. I know some women manage to excel in both work & family, but I think leaving singapore has made me realise the importance of family, & I sometimes wish I could devote more of myself to that part of my life. politics & monetary & societal issues that exist in our world now just make life so much more complicated, & they've made the dreams we had as kids so much less practical.

For now, I trust that God has His plans for me, & that no matter how things turn out, they're for the best:) its good friday!
~me~ at 10:28 AM