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Monday, August 28, 2006

It's been a really lousy week for me, and I'm just praying it doesn't get any worse. Why is it bad things seem to come all at a time? What a great start to week 6. Sigh among other things, the week when all the work is due, and exams are in 2 weeks time, and I've nothing to look forward to but the idea of home which seems so very far away right now. Please don't make this any worse now.

I really need to learn to be more thankful. It just seems so much harder at times...but then it's moments like these that test us right?
~me~ at 10:24 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006

It's comforting at times to realise that everyone has their own struggles in life. Albeit different worries and stresses and different forms of problems, but basically we're all trying to find our way, just trying to get through life. Sometimes you can feel so alone..cos it feels like no one else understands what you're going through..but if you think about it, everyone is struggling together..maybe some are worse off than others, but then it's all relative in the end. It's easy for me to tell someone to think positively, that things will be alright, but then we can never really know for sure can we? We're just telling the person what he wants to hear at the time. And maybe sometimes, I just need someone there to tell me that everything will sort itself out. Thanks:)

I am full now. With ramen! I had the hugest bowl of ramen for dinner tonight.but it was good..and sleep-inducing..sigh. ok I should do some work now.
~me~ at 11:37 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Some random happenings...

1. I was sitting at my desk and got startled when I noticed a face at my window through the reflection in my mirror (my mirror faces the window). It turned out to be a guy chain-sawing through the tree in the garden my window overlooks. So now the tree's gone, I have a clear view of the greenery below, & I draw my curtains most of the time.

2. I was accompanying louisa while she did her grocery shopping at coles. Haha she spent a LONG time trying to decide what cereal to get. So much so that this random stranger walking past us yelled out (in a nice way), "Just get weetbix! It's all you need to get you through the day." Typical aussie response I suppose:)

3. It took me FOUR tries to punch my travel10 on the bus today until I realised I was using my expired one. And I kinda missed the telltale LOUD beeping whine the machine gave out each time I tried to insert my card, which attracted alot of stares. But luckily the bus driver was really nice about it:)

4. Did you know? Brushing your teeth with salt makes your teeth super white:)

5. Childbirth sounds excruciating. I really don't know how all mothers do it.
~me~ at 11:50 PM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Feeling sad now. There are a million things I should be doing now, and could be doing now..but I somehow seem to have lost some of my drive this semester. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I expect too much from myself, and from others..but it's probably just me :(

It's so hard to differentiate between what we want in life and what we need to do in life. Sometimes we try to justify doing something we want to do by nicely thinking of it in another way, just so we don't feel that bad. but I guess it always comes back to haunt you in the end. I really need to improve on my prayer life with God. It's so easy to forget that He's there, especially with the busy pace of everyday life.

anyway on a lighter note, gloria and oli made me take the "Which disney princess are you?" test today..and of all times during science prac. but I'm apparantly aurora (from sleeping beauty). I loved that disney cartoon. I loved all the classic ones actually:) the newer ones somehow don't have that same magical feeling to them. kids these days are missing out.

xinli: hey I was glad to have caught you that day too!!:) sounds like you're having a great time:) take care:)
oli: hey esmeralda:) hmm didn't see it that way, but now that you mention it.. :)
~me~ at 11:10 PM

Monday, August 21, 2006

Once upon a time
A girl with moonlight in her eyes
Put her hand in mine
And said she loved me so
But that was once upon a time
Very long ago

Once upon a hill
We sat beneath a willow tree
Counting all the stars and waiting for the dawn
But that was once upon a time
Now the tree is gone

How the breeze ruffled through her hair
How we always laughed as though tomorrow wasn't there
We were young and didn't have a care
Where did it go

Once upon a time
The world was sweeter than we knew
Everything was ours
How happy we were then
But somehow once upon a time
Never comes again

Once upon a time
Never comes again

- Frank Sinatra

jing: haha thanks!yes hmm my photographer was quite skilled.... :)
ruth: haha wa some people just have no shame... heh. yes it is a lovely picture:) thanks to you!
~me~ at 10:22 PM

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The more I go through life, the harder I feel it is to fathom God's love. Often things don't go your way, yet life isn't about what you want.

There are so many things I wish for..I wish people didn't have to die, I wish all parents understood the effect of their words and actions on their children, I wish I could learn to be less selfish, I wish I knew for sure where I'm going with my life, I wish I could do more, I wish Adam never ate that first apple. But then that's being unrealistic, and I know I should do less wishful thinking. I know there's no point worrying, I know there's no point thinking, yet I still do.
~me~ at 10:32 AM

Friday, August 18, 2006

Dinner was good. Steamboat, cosy apartment, nice dinnertime chitchat, dumplings & a newfound love for seaweed fishcake:) Thanks to janet for the hospitality! Though we've been in the same BS for awhile now, think tonight was one of the more special get-together sessions for the girls:)

Another week passed by in a blur...and I literally mean blur..I woke up early this morning for the lecture..only to open the doors to the auditorium to find the lecture theatre EMPTY. Haha luckily I caught Jen outside the LT & she informed me that I was one hour too early. Sigh. I could have slept an extra hour! I don't know why I thought the lecture was at 8am instead of 9am. I could just knock myself on the head at times..but I guess it didn't turn out to be a total loss..I caught an old friend at the library:)

We watched this video of women giving birth during SGS this week. It was an eyeopener to say the least. And I've now a newfound respect for my mother, who had four caesaran sections...actually a newfound respect for ALL mothers I guess:) It's such a blessing just to be born..

And yet I forget that so easily...Sometimes I just hate myself. For doing things I wish I wouldn't do, for saying things I wish I could take back, for not doing things I could do to help the situation.
~me~ at 1:15 AM

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I've never exactly thought of myself as being very patriotic, but I do regret not being able to spend national day at home for the last 2 years, and the next few years to come. I usually don't do much on national day except maybe watch the parade, and include abit of red in my choice of dressing for the day if I remember:) but really, I do love singapore. For its bland familiarity, for the feeling of security, for its adeptness, even for making me feel at times like I grew up too fast, and most importantly, for the people in my life who make it my home. And I think it will always feel that way:)

I think when I first got to sydney I found it hard to accept it as being my new home cos I kept comparing everything here to home. But I realise now it doesn't do any good, and in a way I've come to accept things here as being a part of my life now, at least for the next few years:)

ooh and check this out if you're bored:)
www.stomp.com.sg/mysingapore/pdf/5.pdf
haha it's a HUGE picture of my sister in the straits times special for national day:) plus a few short paragraphs she spewed out on the botanical gardens:) The new gardens are apparantly quite nice now:) plus according to my mom there's a bigbig new hawker centre there now as well:)

Sigh. And I don't know why but The way you look tonight by Frank Sinatra has been on rewind in my head for the last week. I love that song.

I'll be praying for you. :)
~me~ at 11:36 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006

This week seemed to pass by in a blur..the highlight being gloria's special day:) haha we tried to surprise her with cake and wine at midnight but its pretty hard surprising someone particularly if you're living with the person..but ohwell, its the effort that counts right?:) I even bought extra veg that day to hide the cake in the fridge..haha and our cover was almost blown when we realised five minutes before midnight that we had left the birthday candles in her room..but it all turned out well:) just hope you had fun that night gloria:) I did, with the cake and the taking of photos and the drinking game which I suck at:)


On her birthday itself we went fish market! where we had the hugest platter of seafood I have ever feasted my eyes on.


anyway, food aside, just want you to know how glad I am to have you in my life gloria:) and I really hope you had a happy birthday, despite us being away from home..and thanks for being there to listen. to my rants, complaints and weird theories:) lets build up more fun memories here together! and we should start baking more! our attempt at orangespongecake was just the start:)


Anyway, pretty sleepy now..just got back from bible study..tonight we discussed the kingdom of God. And about how much trust we place in Him. But really, how do we really know to what extent we trust Him? It's so easy to say, but hard to show in the small little things of everyday.

And I suddenly remember the weird dream last night. Think it had something to do with the rat we dissected in science prac the other day. I was so sad that day! We cut out its uterus and basically made a huge mess of its abdomen, spilled out all its guts and split its chest wide open. And when we got to the heart, we realised it was still pulsing! how awful for the rat :(

Sigh. I need sleep now. Goo
~me~ at 1:17 AM

Monday, August 07, 2006

I've felt considerably down the whole of today, for reasons I don't really want to think about and would rather not get into.

It was a lazy rainy weekend, though I did get abit of both work and fun in..we decided to indulge gloria's whim of wanting to bake orangespongecake:) though it didn't exactly turn out the way we wanted to..haha it didn't quite taste like cake, and didn't taste that orangey either. Ollie says internet recipes aren't to be trusted. I think so too. They list weird ingredients and give weird instructions. haha maybe our cake would have turned out better if we had really followed the recipe to the letter..but we couldn't find orange zest (whatever that is) and we didn't understand how we could get 'stiff peaks' out of plain egg whites..oh well. but it was fun gloria!:)

sigh. I think the best treatment for my dismal mood is just music. when you listen to a song..what stands out more? lyrics or melody? don't know whether it's a result of 6 years of symphonic band..but I think I tend to listen to the harmonies and melody more..somehow I feel I can express myself more in the form of notes rather than words. sometimes, I just can't find the words I'm trying to say.

anyway, dear xinli, all the best:) haha glad I caught you just at the last minute!I woke up at 6am this morning and it suddenly came to me..take care and just have fun k:) you'll be back before you know it:)
~me~ at 9:48 PM

Saturday, August 05, 2006

He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Proverbs 27:7

I guess it's just human nature to want something that we can't have..and also to appreciate something alot more when we are deprived of it. And sometimes the same thing can mean so much more to one person than to another..I've always found that to be a sad thought. Like how a relationship can mean the world to one person, while the other person thinks so much less of it..

Anyway, I'm doing this general education Science and religion this semester..(haha although the topics of discussion so far have had nothing to do with my previous paragraph)..it's quite amazing to see how much people have to say..and it's good cos we're sort of forced to participate in active discussion since it's a large part of our assessment..but it's just stirring up alot of confusing new thoughts..plus I feel dumb sometimes trying to contribute to the discussion cos I know I sound confused and probably don't make too much sense.



~me~ at 10:31 PM

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

How would you interpret someone giving up your seat to you on the bus? Haha I mean, not that I don't appreciate it, but then it's not like I'm handicapped or an old lady or something..I got on the crowded bus the other day and this guy jumped out of his seat and kind of nodded at me to sit down..haha I was abit surprised but figured it was pretty rude if I refused so I just sat down without making too much of a fuss..but then afterward I started to think about it and realised it was pretty weird..and it's not like the guy got down at the next stop or anytime soon..he was still on the bus when I got off..haha I'm really not complaining (cos my legs were kinda achy from my walking expeditions of the previous week around sydney with ruth) but then don't people usually give seats to people who are either really old or seemingly more in need of a seat? haha ok maybe I'm reading too much into this..

nothing too exciting's happened so far this week..it's mostly been about getting back into the rhythm of school and I only now realise how much ruth really helped me keep my mind off home last week..sigh. I've been having my blur moments more than normal this week..thinking the lecture was at 9am instead of 8am today..forgetting keys, handphone..nearly walking into the door without opening it..aiyo think I just haven't quite caught up on my sleep yet..I'm tired but somehow just can't seem to sleep soundly :( don't ask me what's on my mind, cos I'm not sure either..probably just the usual mix of random thoughts plus maybe one or two lingering issues that I've yet to figure out and probably never will...

being pregnant sounds scary. Haha well I had my fair share of hearing about pregnancy from my elder sister last year..but somehow studying about it this semester is making it all the more real. But then I keep remembering the feelings my elder sister described when she first held lucas in her arms..when she cried, then chris cried, and lucas cried :)
~me~ at 6:48 PM