germy.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The last few days have given me much to think about..& although I try not to, I can't help but ponder..I seem to be questioning my faith more this year..maybe cos it's just hard for me to believe certain things about myself.

The bible says God doesn't measure good and bad on a scale; but it's the acknowledgement of his presence & the resultant want to do his good works that give you a place with Him in heaven. So no matter the amount of bad things you do in life, as long as you end up wanting to have a relationship with Him, you can still be saved. I find His forgiveness & grace just amazing..but then sometimes I think I use this to my advantage..I just tell myself that there's always time to change things, to repent, but then how do I know that there's still time? There never seems to be enough time to do the things we want to do..there's still so much I have yet to accomplish, so much I haven't seen, so much I want to see, so much of life I haven't figured out yet.

I wonder if I'm happy. I always tell myself never to regret doing anything I've done, cos no point pondering about something I can't go back and change..but then sometimes I wonder if it's just a huge act I'm putting up for myself and for others around me. And I don't know what the point to this post is..haha just that I have alot in my head right now & I'm reading all this as I type this out so I can figure out what's in my head..

Anyway, it's been a mundane school week..though I do feel like I'm getting to know my classmates better..and though my new class is pretty quiet and really different from my old rowdy class..I kinda feel more comfortable in my new class. Somehow I think with my old class, I was always sort of afraid to speak up cos everyone else already had so much to say. Now I feel more compelled to contribute..And I think I can relate more to my classmates now..before it was just fun, with us tossing flip remarks & teasing each other..it was bonding in a different kind of way I guess. I could talk to them, but never really felt like they could understand me..it's nice to have people like evelyn & Jen around now:) And of course I can't thank God enough for the people I have here in sydney:) you know who you are guys:)

~me~ at 11:38 PM

my search for verve

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 The last few days have given me much to think about..& although I try not to, I can't help but ponder..I seem to be questioning my faith more this year..maybe cos it's just hard for me to believe certain things about myself. The bible says God doesn't measure good and bad on a scale; but it's the acknowledgement of his presence & the resultant want to do his good works that give you a place with Him in heaven. So no matter the amount of bad things you do in life, as long as you end up wanting to have a relationship with Him, you can still be saved. I find His forgiveness & grace just amazing..but then sometimes I think I use this to my advantage..I just tell myself that there's always time to change things, to repent, but then how do I know that there's still time? There never seems to be enough time to do the things we want to do..there's still so much I have yet to accomplish, so much I haven't seen, so much I want to see, so much of life I haven't figured out yet. I wonder if I'm happy. I always tell myself never to regret doing anything I've done, cos no point pondering about something I can't go back and change..but then sometimes I wonder if it's just a huge act I'm putting up for myself and for others around me. And I don't know what the point to this post is..haha just that I have alot in my head right now & I'm reading all this as I type this out so I can figure out what's in my head.. Anyway, it's been a mundane school week..though I do feel like I'm getting to know my classmates better..and though my new class is pretty quiet and really different from my old rowdy class..I kinda feel more comfortable in my new class. Somehow I think with my old class, I was always sort of afraid to speak up cos everyone else already had so much to say. Now I feel more compelled to contribute..And I think I can relate more to my classmates now..before it was just fun, with us tossing flip remarks & teasing each other..it was bonding in a different kind of way I guess. I could talk to them, but never really felt like they could understand me..it's nice to have people like evelyn & Jen around now:) And of course I can't thank God enough for the people I have here in sydney:) you know who you are guys:) ~me~ at 11:38 PM
design by may